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AssOf2009

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AssOf2009

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 September 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2731
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About AssOf2009 : I've been to known to laugh at the wrong times, but I am a good person.

AssOf2009's page activity

Visits<b>MtDewAddict</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 1:01pm<b>llamasoks</b> - the 07/14/2009 at 10:28am<b>cutebebe778</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 6:02pm

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AssOf2009's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (37332)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said "is your dad home?" I replied "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

#3935367
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (37332)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:54pm - misc - by jtaylor94 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82886) - you deserved it (5670)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

#3912171
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47832) - you deserved it (5877)

On 07/20/2009 at 7:31pm - misc - by fatgirl4 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, at my sister's engagement party, my cousins thought it would be funny to get my nanna drunk. They regretted it when she told them, and everyone else at the party about her sex life and how she fakes orgasms with my grandpa. FML

#3821769
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38350) - you deserved it (8937)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:36am - intimacy - by Cyberella (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9404) - you deserved it (71737)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, my nine year old son went around telling everyone that me and my husband had a "foursome" last month. It turns out that some douchebag counselor at the camp he goes to thought it would be funny to tell him that a foursome was a divorce. All of his friend's parents think we're kinky freaks. FML

#3571839
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43750) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/08/2009 at 1:02am - kids - by campmom (woman) -

Today, my dad woke me up by shaking me and saying "If you're not up in two minutes, I'm lighting a firecracker in your room." Thinking he wouldn't possibly set off a firecracker in the house, much less my room, I decided to call his bluff. My room still smells like gunpowder. FML

#3479922
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19029) - you deserved it (38328)

On 07/04/2009 at 1:31pm - misc - by Singed (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

#3364803
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53483) - you deserved it (3333)

On 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm - kids - by lebanesewoman (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

#3361418
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55851) - you deserved it (8574)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fuck up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML

#3349914
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12977) - you deserved it (60459)

On 06/29/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by ZZ - Canada (Ontario)

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

#3237157
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40898) - you deserved it (2532)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:20am - misc - by toothfairy (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

#3207933
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51351) - you deserved it (6870)

On 06/25/2009 at 6:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I ran into my crush of three years ago. We used to always walk our dogs together. He still remembered my dog's name. He didn't remember mine. FML

#3168313
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49121) - you deserved it (3435)

On 06/24/2009 at 6:10am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)



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