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Aspen_Grace33

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Aspen_Grace33

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2362
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 29 and living near St Louis, MO.

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>PhilosophyCat</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 4:01pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:29am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:18am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:54pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:33pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:11pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:13pm<b>lnheritance</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:23pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:55pm<b>calvo_07</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:54pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:59pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:43pm<b>nut3lla</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Jet_Life55</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:35am<b>2ndtemplar</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:07am<b>jvsoccer23</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm<b>SillehKat</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:33pm

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Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46901) - you deserved it (3803)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38329) - you deserved it (2808)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50715) - you deserved it (9746)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been almost a week since I returned from my vacation to Ireland. Before I rarely drank. Now I'm pretty sure I'm an alcoholic. You might think I'm joking, but I've woken up hungover every day since I landed there. I basically paid to kill my liver and become AA's next poster child. FML

#21245034
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28148) - you deserved it (15952)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48468) - you deserved it (8857)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42467) - you deserved it (13791)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35397) - you deserved it (5017)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

#21237548
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38258) - you deserved it (6012)

On 08/14/2014 at 4:44pm - kids - by cahsecuel (woman) - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML

#21237524
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37676) - you deserved it (8263)

On 08/14/2014 at 3:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40939) - you deserved it (25781)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML

#21233273
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40986) - you deserved it (12585)

On 08/09/2014 at 1:32pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was working customer support, a lady hung up on me mid-sentence, and I trailed off, saying "…aaannnddd you hung up on me like a bitch." Turned out she was still on the line and had just accidentally hit mute. FML

#21232769
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23492) - you deserved it (36104)

On 08/08/2014 at 8:16pm - work - by suspended (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I put on a porno, trying to unwind after a bad day. 10 minutes in, I was so pissed off with the girl constantly repeating "You like that? Yeah?" and the cameraman's obsession with the guy's asscrack that I started yelling at the screen. Now I'm more stressed than ever. FML

#21232670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38876) - you deserved it (12866)

On 08/08/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by FUCK YOU (man) - United States



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