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Aspen_Grace33

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Aspen_Grace33

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2718
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 29 and living near St Louis, MO.

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>NomadicPie</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 3:14am<b>crushcrusher</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 9:45am<b>Eloxia</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 1:15pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 4:08am<b>j_mitchell25</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 4:59pm<b>HairIsEverything</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 11:53am<b>Amy_Nguyen_12</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 7:09pm<b>NonoMeow</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 11:46am<b>supertacowaffle</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 4:30am<b>wowwzaa</b> - the 12/21/2014 at 6:45pm<b>netflixislove</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 10:29am<b>RA91</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:18am<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:54pm<b>ragingatheist</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 5:33pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 4:11pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:13pm<b>lnheritance</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 3:15pm<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:23pm

Aspen_Grace33's FML badges

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32189) - you deserved it (3560)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35763) - you deserved it (3655)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40564) - you deserved it (5670)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41637) - you deserved it (11325)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37060) - you deserved it (3694)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML

#21261392
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39783) - you deserved it (3586)

On 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm - health - by tbree - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend visited my restaurant with some guy I'd never seen before. She introduced him to me as her "new boyfriend". She was always a cold bitch, but I never saw this coming. I had to serve their food while choking back tears, and I couldn't work up the nerve to spit in it. FML

#21260464
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49693) - you deserved it (4727)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got up at 4.30am, like I do every morning, and got ready for work. Just as I was about to walk out the door, my flatmate jumped me and beat the snot out of me thinking I was a burglar. Because apparently burglars shower, make toast and clean up before stealing all your shit. FML

#21259933
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (2531)

On 09/17/2014 at 8:18am - misc - by makeyourselfathome (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

#21259401
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (3346)

On 09/16/2014 at 12:18pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (18251)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36823) - you deserved it (2897)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (3946)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (3811)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)



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