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Aspen_Grace33

Offline (the 03/20/2014 at 4:08pm) | Search for a member

Aspen_Grace33

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1455
  • Number of comments : 126
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 28 and living near St Louis, MO.

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>twodotgirl</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 11:24pm<b>seemetrot</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:37pm<b>BoltTheSuperdog</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 6:22pm<b>paintedwings12</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 4:39pm<b>charliebig</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:34pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 12:27pm<b>eb9821</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:57am<b>lizardFace</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:49am<b>OJ25</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:52am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 5:47am<b>sarahgabi</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 1:09am<b>stuff_and_things</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:44pm<b>foundandlost</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 10:34pm<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:31pm<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:52pm<b>nothemother</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:50am<b>Strawb3rymonkey</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 11:53pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML

#21055858
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43346) - you deserved it (14200) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, my boyfriend proposed: he told me the feeling he gets from being in love with me is the best feeling in the world, even better than the feeling he gets when he poops. FML

#21039368
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43685) - you deserved it (6726)

On 01/25/2014 at 10:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum decided that having the flu and being too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom is a valid excuse to shit in a jug instead. 5ML

#21038402
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39916) - you deserved it (3170)

On 01/24/2014 at 4:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

#21031998
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34652) - you deserved it (56458)

On 01/18/2014 at 5:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband jokingly told my daughter when she passes gas in public she needs to blame it on the fattest and ugliest person there. We went shopping after and she let a HUGE fart out. She gasped, "Mommy!" FML

#21031501
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (6858)

On 01/18/2014 at 4:45am - kids - by FattestUgliestPerson (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

#21026318
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (48456)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55955) - you deserved it (5626)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working my shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at my dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, "Would you like to try the McRib while it's back?" FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46207) - you deserved it (8702)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39447) - you deserved it (12372)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57460) - you deserved it (7808)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34335) - you deserved it (9086)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (20414)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (3621)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (5278)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)



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