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Aspen_Grace33

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Aspen_Grace33
  • Town/Country : St. Louis, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1238
  • Number of comments : 119
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 28 and living near St Louis, MO.

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Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37926) - you deserved it (11548)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52632) - you deserved it (7050)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33554) - you deserved it (8909)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31435) - you deserved it (17831)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, marks the third week since my sister's guinea pig learned to masturbate. He humps his wheel and makes squeaking noises for five minutes, then rolls over on his side and pants heavily. He does it at least twice a night while I'm trying to sleep. FML

#21008605
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43063) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/28/2013 at 7:31pm - animals - by Anonomous - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dog has found a new game he likes. It involves him rolling around on my new bed sheets to build up static electricity and run and poke me with his nose so I get shocked. FML

#21008001
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41453) - you deserved it (4621)

On 12/28/2013 at 3:23am - animals - by honeybunny90 - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41601) - you deserved it (3316)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML

#20997138
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41933) - you deserved it (2878)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got the DVD back from a dance concert I did. After watching it, I realised that I had a camel toe through the whole thing. Three and a half hours. FML

#20992052
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38939) - you deserved it (6031)

On 12/14/2013 at 7:00am - misc - by Aggie_De (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML

#20989738
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53232) - you deserved it (3071)

On 12/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by >.> (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML

#20989013
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (4409)

On 12/11/2013 at 3:14pm - intimacy - by ElephantLover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss's obese bully of a grandson had a seizure. Being the only physician around, I had to rush in to tend to him. Except it wasn't a seizure as such. My daughter had found my taser and used it on him. FML

#20971381
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/26/2013 at 2:05pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML

#20969815
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60864) - you deserved it (4212)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)



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