Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Aspen_Grace33

Online | Search for a member

Aspen_Grace33

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1720
  • Number of comments : 137
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About Aspen_Grace33 : 29 and living near St Louis, MO.

Aspen_Grace33's page activity

Visits<b>ForeverSilent101</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 10:23pm<b>papashaan</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 3:55pm<b>FlamingColor</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:45am<b>calvo_07</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 6:54pm<b>summer135790</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:59pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 7:43pm<b>nut3lla</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 4:47pm<b>Jet_Life55</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:35am<b>2ndtemplar</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:07am<b>jvsoccer23</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm<b>SillehKat</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:33pm<b>motherfogkerr</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:21pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:34pm<b>Oihana</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:36am<b>GuessWut</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 7:40am<b>AviatOfficial</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:37am<b>HR_Baden</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:53am<b>Miss_Brii</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 3:02am

Aspen_Grace33's FML badges

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of Aspen_Grace33's badges

Aspen_Grace33's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32380) - you deserved it (2485)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm staying with my grandma and her older sister while my parents are away. It's been two hours and so far they've popped vicodins, talked about banging Alex Trebek, and had a farting contest. FML

#21253639
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (3619)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by imgonnadie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter's teacher called me, very concerned, because my child told the whole class she's not virgin anymore. The word is "vegan", honey. FML

#21253313
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36737) - you deserved it (3385)

On 09/06/2014 at 9:57pm - kids - by healthfreak - United States (Georgia)

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

#21253167
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (3511)

On 09/06/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

#21253110
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32194) - you deserved it (3108)

On 09/06/2014 at 3:29pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a call about a job interview, saying I was hired. I was ecstatic, until they called me back and said they'd called the wrong applicant. They called again later, saying there'd been a mistake and I really was hired. When I went in to confirm it, they said they'd never heard of me. FML

#21252552
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43409) - you deserved it (2476)

On 09/05/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by almost governmental (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38850) - you deserved it (3608)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47385) - you deserved it (2438)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37307) - you deserved it (3366)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while eating cotton candy, a drunk person came up to me and said "HEY! COTTON CANDY!" And bit me. FML

#21249322
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36039) - you deserved it (2683)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I won a gruelling fitness competition, only to find out the mystery prize was a voucher to get 10 free spray tans. I'm black. FML

#21249089
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46203) - you deserved it (3789)

On 08/31/2014 at 2:44pm - misc - by disappointedjamaican - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, while my teacher was demonstrating how to use the ultrasound equipment, we all figured out that I'm pregnant. FML

#21245451
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50259) - you deserved it (9705)

On 08/25/2014 at 10:37pm - health - by whotouchedyou1 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36369) - you deserved it (13635)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: