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Offline (the 09/24/2016 at 7:40am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6614
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Ashter : Just another FML reader.

Ashter's page activity

Visits<b>deejflat</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 3:09pm<b>GetRektBro</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 8:50am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:16am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:41pm<b>Fillie</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:03pm<b>MamaZombieCakes</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 7:04pm<b>moomanjohnny</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:54pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:59am<b>kaet</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 2:27pm<b>dabomb0513</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:15am<b>Christy3194</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:04am<b>outoftown</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:40am<b>Dark_Stream</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:35pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:46pm<b>chrismace</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:32am<b>Saraj1926x</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:18am<b>TypeBbitch</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 6:25pm

Fucked!<b>deejflat</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:09pm

Ashter's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Ashter's badges

Ashter's favorite FMLs

Today, while driving, a spider crawled onto my gearstick. Not being afraid of them, I casually flicked it off. Onto the person sitting next to me. The person evaluating me for my driving test at the time, who happened to be arachnophobic. FML

by Arachnofail / 04/08/2016 at 12:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm in training at an animal shelter. There's an adorable tiny kitten there, which my boss said not to touch it because it's feral. "No way he's dangerous" I said, reaching into the cage to pet it. It struck like a cobra and tore up my arm. My first on-the-job injury is from a KITTEN. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I explained to my five year-old son that the dinosaurs were wiped out because of a meteorite that hit our planet. He replied, "They should've stood out of the way." FML

by sauve dino. / 03/24/2016 at 11:12pm / Kids

Today, I had sex for the first time. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me because I don't think she is pretty enough since I "wanted it to be over so fast". FML

by cemakara3 / 03/12/2016 at 3:07pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the play I was directing opened. The curtain opened, and my lead actor and actress weren't prepared. I could tell from the looks on their faces as the whole audience saw him balls deep in her, doggy style, on stage. FML

by headinabag33 / 02/14/2016 at 8:57pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife and I were having sex when she suddenly stopped and said, "I just thought of a great lesson plan idea for my 3rd graders." This isn't the first time this has happened. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2016 at 5:19pm / Intimacy

Today, my 4-year-old son is distraught. This morning we saw a man, dressed as Santa, passed out drunk on a public bench. My son is now convinced that it was his corpse, and that Santa Claus is dead. FML

by donguigeek / 12/23/2015 at 11:32pm / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were sending dirty messages to each other. We were getting really into it until she replied to one of my messages with, "Oooooh yeah." I read it in the Kool-Aid man's voice and couldn't stop laughing. Mood killed. FML

by Stuby14 / 11/23/2015 at 9:31am / United States (South Dakota) / Intimacy

Today, I'm 4ft9 "tall" and I always have trouble reaching things that are high up. It's my birthday, and I got three footstools as gifts. FML

by mini matthylde / 11/19/2015 at 4:57am / France (Pays de la Loire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I excitedly told my husband that I'm pregnant with our first child. With the most shit-eating grin, he said, "Hi, Pregnant. I'm dad." FML

by Anonymous / 11/17/2015 at 9:13pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I went to the bowling alley. I have short, stubby fingers, and as I looked for a bowling ball that would fit my hand properly, an old man watched me searching, and approached asking, "Is that how you are with women? Fingering them, tossing them in the gutter, and looking for another?" FML

by weldingmachine217 / 11/16/2015 at 4:47pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML

by busmonster / 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.