Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Ashter

Online | Search for a member

Ashter

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1965
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About Ashter : Just another FML reader.

Ashter's page activity

Visits<b>moomanjohnny</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 7:54pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 8:42am<b>MissyPants</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 1:59am<b>kaet</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 2:27pm<b>dabomb0513</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:15am<b>Christy3194</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 12:04am<b>outoftown</b> - the 02/08/2014 at 12:40am<b>Dark_Stream</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 2:35pm<b>GoodRichPope</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 4:46pm<b>chrismace</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:32am<b>Saraj1926x</b> - the 01/25/2014 at 10:18am<b>TypeBbitch</b> - the 01/24/2014 at 6:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:11pm

Ashter's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of Ashter's badges

Ashter's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (10897)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML

#21217074
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (6383)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend, because he's too manipulative. By the time our chat ended, instead of being single, I'm somehow now committed to going on vacation with him and his family. FML

#21216217
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (12586)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - love - by whatjusthappened - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML

#21206358
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39954) - you deserved it (6385)

On 07/11/2014 at 8:26pm - health - by sexyhobbit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (23292)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51773) - you deserved it (16783)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML

#21175721
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34532) - you deserved it (3512)

On 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had dinner for the first time with my boyfriend's parents. It was awkward enough without his mom asking, "So, what do you do for fun, besides my son?" FML

#21173084
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45424) - you deserved it (5440)

On 06/13/2014 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought some crickets as a treat for my lizard. One escaped and somehow got into the heating system in my room. The chirping is amplified and comes from everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Goodbye, restful sleep. FML

#21170183
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41977) - you deserved it (8956)

On 06/10/2014 at 10:07pm - animals - by Sleepdeprived (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46995) - you deserved it (4766)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47039) - you deserved it (5437)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, despite years of paranoid checking, I forgot to check my towel for spiders after my shower. Two crawled onto me, and I'm pretty sure there's one somewhere in my hair. FML

#21161379
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39888) - you deserved it (4918)

On 06/03/2014 at 4:56am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was hit in the face by the placenta of a cow that had just given birth. FML

#21158688
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45991) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:53pm - animals - by disturbed - Ireland

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40518) - you deserved it (6517)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: