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As1LayDying's favorite FMLs
Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
by dani0810 / 01/22/2013 at 6:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/21/2013 at 7:48am / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
by DrakeB / 01/20/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Washington) / Animals
by psd60 / 12/06/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Texas) / Animals
by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids
by N / 05/07/2012 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous
by blondie101 / 12/09/2011 at 1:11am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Justforlolz / 11/24/2011 at 11:46am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't go to work, she's actually been seeing another guy purely for sex, and each time he gives her money to "support her unemployment." Pretty sure that means I'm dating a prostitute. FML
by prostitutes boyfriend / 10/21/2011 at 10:55am / United Kingdom (Cornwall) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 7:37am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was chaperoning at my local high school's Homecoming dance. Outside the gym, I saw some kids drinking, so I walked over to stop them. One of them promptly spun around and punched me in the mouth. I had my ass handed to by a drunk 9th grader. FML
by smeeagain / 10/20/2011 at 9:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML
by boopadoop / 10/20/2011 at 1:35pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I came home crying and informed my mother that someone had called me a 'fat bitch' today. She held me at arms length, looked me straight in the eyes, and lovingly said, "You can't change who you are." FML
by Anonymous / 10/20/2011 at 12:16pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous
- Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I… Today, while on a ride at a water park, someone stole my thongs. The ground is hot enough to burn… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…