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Arybanana's favorite FMLs
by Carebeareatu / 07/21/2013 at 9:26am / United States / Love
by accountnamevalid / 07/21/2013 at 12:45am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation
by cheated / 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 9:03pm / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, after more than six years of working my ass off, I finally summoned the courage to ask my boss for a raise. She just chuckled, "I'm gonna need you to eat a dick, John." and stared at me unblinking until I awkwardly left. FML
by no new apartment for me / 07/18/2013 at 3:53pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my family. Over the next hour, a huge religious debate erupted, and my grandfather drunkenly told us all how he almost killed himself once while experimenting with auto-erotic asphyxiation. My boyfriend called us all crazy and seems to have dumped me. FML
by fuck family / 07/17/2013 at 4:13pm / Poland (Dolnoslaskie) / Love
Today, I was doing stand-up comedy at open mic. The guy I like started laughing, but before I hit my punch line. Apparently, when I was speaking, I was occasionally spitting, and in the very bright light it was easy to see my spit hitting people in the face. They kept a tally. FML
by sucker and suckatash/say don't spray / 07/17/2013 at 6:06am / United States (Hawaii) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
by Sam l. / 11/10/2012 at 1:51am / United States / Animals
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
by dating a fking cnt / 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm / Canada / Health
by Anonymous / 10/17/2012 at 1:18am / France (Bretagne) / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…
- Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My… Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a… Today, I was having sex with this girl I met in stats class when my roommate walked in. He started…