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Arybanana's favorite FMLs
Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML
by fuckoffgran / 08/01/2013 at 10:46am / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by father of the year / 08/01/2013 at 2:21am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/31/2013 at 12:28pm / Belgium (West-Vlaanderen) / Intimacy
by RayneWolf13 / 07/31/2013 at 2:31am / United States (Arkansas) / Love
by Bnewlove / 07/31/2013 at 12:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
by Wakachulak / 07/30/2013 at 1:55am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Transportation
by DreamStatic / 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
by Anonymous / 07/28/2013 at 12:59am / United States / Miscellaneous
by mishyb / 07/28/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Colorado) / Animals
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
by poopiter / 07/27/2013 at 2:31pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2013 at 10:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by AlonsoKold / 07/25/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband was chased out of a bar after he was seen slipping something into a woman's drink. I was the woman, the 'something' was aspirin, and that's the last time we ever try to role-play. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by xXxXxTOBIxX / 07/22/2013 at 7:49am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just… Today, a man dressed as Santa Claus walked by me, grabbing my butt. He smelled of pipe tobacco and… Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying,…