ArtemisFTW

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ArtemisFTW

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 413
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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ArtemisFTW's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

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ArtemisFTW's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

by SadDad / 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I had an ovarian cyst rupture at work, causing sudden severe stomach cramps; this caused my bowels to release everything right then and there, while on the phone with a customer, in the middle of the call center surrounded by 200 other sales reps. FML

by sy123 / 07/29/2012 at 7:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Health

Today, I was fired. My boss told me via email that it was because I "don't have enough experience with fun spiritual." Uh, what? FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 5:36pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, my therapist told me to write down my secrets in an envelope and symbolically burn them. My secrets included stories of my rampant sex life, drug use, a suicide attempt, and the overpowering hatred I have for my family. I've managed to misplace the envelope somewhere back home. FML

by Elle / 02/23/2011 at 4:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to spend all of my money on textbooks even though my refrigerator is empty. Starving and frustrated, I called home to ask for money for groceries. My mom told me I could afford to skip a few meals. FML

by Anonymous / 02/23/2011 at 11:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Money

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, my daughter told my son that Santa is not real. Of course, being a child, he started to cry. My only problem is, my son is 11 and my daughter is 6. FML

by Cherie / 12/07/2010 at 1:25pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Derbyshire) / Health

Today, I went shopping with my parents. Halfway through, I got separated from them and tried to call them only to find out my cell phone battery was flat. A few minutes later, an announcement was made for a lost child. It was by my parents. I'm 36. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 2:35am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss was being a total asshole. While in the bathroom, he turned his back on me, so I gave him the finger, mouthed obscenities, and pantomimed stabbing him with a knife. He was looking in the mirror and saw everything. FML

by fired / 11/23/2010 at 8:41am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I began training my replacement at work. She's a senior citizen. She got excited when I taught her how to highlight text on the screen and double-click the mouse because she "never knew how to do those fancy tricks." The job is entirely computer-based. I have to train her for 6 weeks. FML

by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 8:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, I went to the new gym I recently signed up for and started exercising in the men-filled weights room, despite being intimidated by them and the strange looks they were giving me. Workout over, I left the room and saw in front of me a door marked "Women's weights room". Oh. FML

by genderbender / 11/16/2010 at 8:21pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I just found out that my ex girlfriend is gonna be my step mother. FML

by xkal174 / 11/15/2010 at 6:33am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone in my class wrote "Erase me if you can!" at the very top of the board, as I am always tormented about how short I am compared to everyone else. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't reach it. I'm the teacher. FML

by Petitprof / 11/12/2010 at 1:23pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Miscellaneous