FML.
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59303) - you totally deserved it (1886)
On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8373) - you totally deserved it (50754)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my daughter had just left for a date with her boyfriend. All of a sudden, she runs back in the house screaming "I forgot to take my birth control!" That is not something a father wants to hear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44895) - you totally deserved it (3652)
On 06/29/2009 at 12:38pm - kids - by dad (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I rushed home to tell my parents my girlfriend had accepted my proposal. They asked how I could be so selfish at a time like this. Apparently, Michael Jackson's death is more important than their son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49607) - you totally deserved it (3261)
On 06/25/2009 at 8:56pm - love - by Tom (man) - United States (New York)
Today, Michael Jackson died. FML
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On 06/25/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to a yard sale and found a cute plush duck. I sent a pic of it to my friend with the message "Jackpot!" I guess she didn't see the pic because she called me up all excited, thinking my boyfriend of 6 years finally proposed to me. "No, I said, I just found a big duck for $1." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26478) - you totally deserved it (4068)
On 06/25/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by smallmediumatlrg (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was in a public restroom when the girl in the stall next to me started asking me how I was doing. Thinking it was weird but not wanting to be rude, I answered her questions. Halfway though our conversation she said: "Hold on, the girl in the stall next to me thinks I'm talking to her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28769) - you totally deserved it (8113)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:34am - misc - by embarrassed4life (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
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On 06/24/2009 at 5:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend said he'd give me 20 bucks if I would ask out the ugliest girl in school. I did it. She rejected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you totally deserved it (58164)
On 06/24/2009 at 11:33am - love - by steven (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my 9 year old nephew found his way onto my iTunes. I now have 401 songs titled "aidfj3P" by "ffjiel". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38301) - you totally deserved it (3712)
On 06/22/2009 at 9:32am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Singapore
Today, a car floated slowly into my lane from the left with no signal. She gazed at the right turn like it was going to kiss her. "What the FUCK, lady?" I shouted, slamming on my brakes. Two seconds later I hear a tiny voice in my back seat, "What fut, YADY?!" My 22 month old son's first full sentence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12656) - you totally deserved it (39575)
On 06/22/2009 at 1:30am - kids - by ObeyTheFist (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you totally deserved it (8211)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3962) - you totally deserved it (55814)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (52897) - you totally deserved it (1551)
On 06/13/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by Toothy_Peg (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5789) - you totally deserved it (161424)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
