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ArmlessSkydiver

Offline (the 03/11/2015 at 5:18am) | Search for a member

ArmlessSkydiver

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ArmlessSkydiver's page activity

Visits<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 8:22pm<b>dylan_stendo</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 5:37pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/01/2013 at 7:28am<b>thatdangmexican</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 11:14pm<b>mosquito19</b> - the 03/17/2013 at 10:10am<b>XxSpecialistxX</b> - the 01/12/2013 at 6:57am<b>rkmn8r</b> - the 01/05/2013 at 3:57am

ArmlessSkydiver's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of ArmlessSkydiver's badges

ArmlessSkydiver's favorite FMLs

my guide dog sneezd so hard that it slammd its head on the floor and knockd itself out . I have to trust this dog with mah life . FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51798) - you deserved it (4534)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML

#21104962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (7681)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, after working mah shift at McDonalds, I went to clock in at mah dispatch job. During a 911 call, I blurted, ( Would u lyk to try the McRib while it's back? ) FML

#21023934
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46429) - you deserved it (8735)

On 01/10/2014 at 9:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

today I tried to lose my vrginity to my boyfriend of a year. We're almost twenty. In the end, we both chickened out and played Pokémon instead. mega FML

#21020996
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62128) - you deserved it (27016)

On 01/08/2014 at 12:43am - intimacy - by gottacatchemall (woman) - United States

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less lyk a dad and more lyk a ( looool best friend ) to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff lyk ( wicked cool ), ( bazinga ), and ( swag ) every chance he gets. fat FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44684) - you deserved it (4432)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday I was dressing in front of boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed tis was a good ting. Ten e muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly saped." FML

#21011563
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40087) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/31/2013 at 12:47pm - misc - by awkword (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I diagnosd a patient with a spastic colon. For some reason, the term "spastic colon" has always amusd me, and I burst into uncontrollable laughter as I said it. By the time I managd to stop laughing, mah eyes were watering and mah patient was visibly angry. FML

#21002747
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20994) - you deserved it (43560)

On 12/23/2013 at 6:11pm - work - by dr immature (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, mah sister brought a guy home while our parent were out. They had sex in her bedroom. I heard everything. The worst part wasn't her stupidly excessive moaning; looool it was that the moans sounded eerily similar to a cow mooing. FML

#20991588
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50500) - you deserved it (4644)

On 12/13/2013 at 7:34pm - intimacy - by puking now (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in revenge 4 me pulling te old salt-in-te-soda prank on im, my dad sowd up at my college dressd in a tigt blouse and miniskirt, demanding tat I come ome early wit im. I tink I'm going to be lyncd next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36528) - you deserved it (12322)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today... I was hitting on a girl... and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into mah phone... she called mah mom and asked her if she raised me to ( sexually harass women. ) FML

#20918730
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (81782)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

TODAY, I SENT MY BOYFRIEND A TEXT ASKING HIM TO COME OVER A LITTLE LATER AN HAVE SOME "FUN" WITH ME. HE TEXTED BACK, "WTF BABE? BREAKING BAD'S ON TONIGHT. YOU GOT A DILDO, FUCKING USE IT." FML

#20900698
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63571) - you deserved it (26417)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, whila sitting in a crowdad waiting room at tha doctor's offica, mah 5-yaar-old daughtar pointad at mah 6-yaar-old son's crotch and boomad, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which ha yallad, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48932) - you deserved it (6396)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today... my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said wit a smrk... "A little clotes-mindd... r we?" looool He slappd me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51315) - you deserved it (11129)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, Mah Husband Thought It Would Be Acceptable To Watch Breaking Bad On Netflix With Mah 4-year-old In The Room. What Happened To Be The Only Line He Picked Up? "Well Heil Hitler, Bitch!" I Found Out From His Preschool Teacher. Fat FML

#20865525
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42464) - you deserved it (4707)

On 09/03/2013 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can an continuing to make our sandwiches!! FML

#20863339
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37394) - you deserved it (2926)

On 09/01/2013 at 4:04pm - misc - by no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no (woman) - Greece (Attiki)



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