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ArielTheMermaid

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ArielTheMermaid
  • Town/Country : Somewhere Over the Rainbow, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 June 1997 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 8747
  • Number of comments : 905
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ArielTheMermaid : Just an average sixteen year old with no real claim to fame.

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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ArielTheMermaid's favorite FMLs

Today, I came back from the doctor after having been diagnosed with a UTI. My dad now won't shut up about it, saying stuff like, "You must be 'pissed'", "Looks like 'urine' a bit of pain", and "'Urea'-lly need some antibiotics, son", all while making obnoxious finger quotes in the air. FML

#20739103
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37607) - you deserved it (4026)

On 06/21/2013 at 2:05pm - health - by assholedad (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45157) - you deserved it (9615)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML

#20737057
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37756) - you deserved it (2452)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:02pm - misc - by whoriblemomindeed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47753) - you deserved it (4167)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom. FML

#20735858
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51381) - you deserved it (8165)

On 06/19/2013 at 7:40pm - intimacy - by whatno - United States (Texas)

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML

#20735100
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42045) - you deserved it (4060)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter believed that watching the Big Bang Theory would count as studying for her chemistry final. FML

#20733887
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39494) - you deserved it (6220)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50597) - you deserved it (6902)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54948) - you deserved it (3881)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57306) - you deserved it (35814)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46065) - you deserved it (6081)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61852) - you deserved it (2810)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37652) - you deserved it (12852)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, getting off a bus, it was pouring rain so I got my umbrella out. A man elbowed me in the gut and grabbed it. When I told my mom about it she said, "That's New York, get over it." FML

#20731128
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39066) - you deserved it (4949)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:46am - misc - by newyorkers - United States (New York)

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38070) - you deserved it (10809)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)



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