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Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 6:13am) | Search for a member
About ArielTheMermaid : Just an average seventeen year old with no real claim to fame.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML
Today, I was all set to lose my virginity to my girlfriend. I was ecstatic, until she threatened to "beat the fuck" out of me if I didn't make it good for her. The actual sex was 30 seconds of me being given death glares, causing me to lose my boner and have to leave in shame. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
Friday 31 July 2015