Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ArcticDead

Offline (the 12/22/2015 at 4:59am) | Search for a member

ArcticDead

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 31897
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ArcticDead's page activity

Visits<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 3:18pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 12:47pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 12:24pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:06am<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 03/22/2014 at 9:20am<b>applebramble</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:10pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:59pm<b>Everyday_Galaxy</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 8:24pm<b>Danny5146</b> - the 08/25/2013 at 10:56pm<b>puppiness</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 9:38pm<b>wafflerocket</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 5:07pm

ArcticDead's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of ArcticDead's badges

ArcticDead's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a cat licking my face. I don't have a cat. I quickly put the cat out the front door and went back to sleep. When I woke up later, I remembered that I had agreed to take care of my sister's cat for a week. I looked out the door, but the cat is nowhere to be found. FML

#21469827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16132) - you deserved it (30841)

On 09/18/2015 at 8:22am - animals - by introublenow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog vomited a writhing mass of maggots. It was the most disgusting thing I've ever smelled, and I was baffled as to where she found a maggot infested dead thing to eat. Baffled, until my mom reminded me that my cat has been missing, presumed dead, for over a week. FML

#21469594
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26154) - you deserved it (1621)

On 09/17/2015 at 5:08pm - animals - by wormsmeat (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after months of taking care of my grandma after a surgery, the doctors gave her a clean bill of health and I finally got to sleep in my own bed. She passed away while I was at home. FML

#21458841
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35086) - you deserved it (1672)

On 08/21/2015 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

#21458250
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23523) - you deserved it (1675)

On 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm - kids - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband and I told my parents that I finally managed to conceive. My mom burst into tears of joy and said how great it was that she's finally going to be a "real" grandma, all within earshot of our adopted and now-devastated daughter. FML

#21457997
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/19/2015 at 11:00am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29679) - you deserved it (2036)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4am; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

#21440806
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (2356)

On 07/13/2015 at 12:39am - animals - by 4am blues - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a nose piercing. I was asleep at the time in my backyard, and the piercer was a snake. FML

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28994) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while with a large group of friends, my best friend started talking about my struggles with dating and intimacy. I quietly asked her to stop talking about it, as it was personal and I wasn't comfortable with everyone else knowing. Her response? "Um, it's really none of your business." FML

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (3463)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (4224)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34018) - you deserved it (2267)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: