Archer96

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Archer96

0Fucked!

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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 120
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Archer96's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Archer96's favorite FMLs

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

by steve-o / 11/02/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

by HOe HOe HOe / 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, I was in a public restroom. The guy in the urinal next to me was making loud sounds of discomfort. I ignored him and finished up. I turned around to be greeted by his red swollen beehive of a crotch, and him asking, "Is my penis supposed to look like this?" FML

by blarp / 10/17/2011 at 12:20am / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I walked in on my flatmate squatting over the bathroom scales, completely naked. When I asked what he was doing, he replied very seriously, "weighing my testicles, you should try it sometime, if they're too heavy you may have cancer". I'm a girl. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 4:29am / Reserved / Health

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, like every day, I walked into my office and was greeted by the smell of shit wafting through the air. My lactose intolerant, diabetic coworker won't stop eating Whataburger and milkshakes for breakfast, no matter what his body tells him. FML

by lpspann87 / 09/24/2011 at 5:34pm / United States (Florida) / Work