Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ArcaneArcanine

Offline (the 05/03/2015 at 9:29pm) | Search for a member

ArcaneArcanine

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 27 August 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 348
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ArcaneArcanine's page activity

Visits<b>Bafrinn</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 9:05am<b>tralala453</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 5:30pm<b>Janiney</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:19pm<b>Nordrag</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 2:29am

ArcaneArcanine's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of ArcaneArcanine's badges

ArcaneArcanine's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32308) - you deserved it (16356)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided the best way to cheat on a test is to take someone else's test, scratch through their name in pencil, and write her name underneath. She starts high school next semester. FML

#21272741
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34167) - you deserved it (3108)

On 10/07/2014 at 12:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while on vacation, my parents called to inform me that my best friend had died in a car accident. Why? To trick me into tearfully confessing my love for him. It worked. FML

#21272324
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50755) - you deserved it (4531)

On 10/06/2014 at 9:14pm - love - by whywouldyoudothat - United States (Arizona)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60194) - you deserved it (5145)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, a customer asked me how long our 6-inch sandwich was. FML

#21136526
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (4605)

On 05/11/2014 at 10:46am - work - by Makeitdance - United States (California)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, a teenage girl bumped into me and my phone fell out of my hands, and over the Golden Gate Bridge. FML

#21081896
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54822) - you deserved it (5583)

On 03/09/2014 at 1:08am - misc - by Seriously? - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting my 4-year-old cousin. She scraped her knee, and in an attempt to cheer her up, I put a refrigerator box over my head and waddled around like a penguin. She stopped crying, but only after I fell down a flight of tile stairs. FML

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

#21008243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38959) - you deserved it (6787) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2013 at 9:46am - misc - by Cacahuete (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via a sign he made in front of my Minecraft house. FML

#21000308
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46068) - you deserved it (6100)

On 12/21/2013 at 3:05pm - misc - by back to creepers (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, I had a dream that I was playing fetch with my dog. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to the sound of my phone smashing against the wall. FML

Today, I let my sister hold my newborn daughter for the first time. I heard her mutter under her breath, "I could kill you so easily..." FML



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: