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Aquila_Umbrae

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Aquila_Umbrae

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  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 May 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 192
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About Aquila_Umbrae : I like to study people and know their stories. FML is a great place for that.

Aquila_Umbrae's page activity

Visits<b>JayDay_123</b> - 14 hours ago<b>MrDonSalvetti</b> - 17 hours ago<b>QuaSiCos</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 2:22am<b>iAmPaul</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:10pm<b>HerpaderpGlaze</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 4:09pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:53pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:12am<b>misunderstood504</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 6:10am<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 7:12am<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:36pm<b>jenkelo</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:33pm<b>HoneyBliss</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:12pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 7:08pm<b>josexy</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 6:55am<b>Welshite</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 9:12am<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 1:00am<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 8:53pm<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:25pm

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Aquila_Umbrae's favorite FMLs

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (13564)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML

#21249696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37413) - you deserved it (3370)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML

#21243040
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40020) - you deserved it (2730)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40298) - you deserved it (8278) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML

#21238351
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (49359)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52029) - you deserved it (16835)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I found out how stupid my girlfriend really is. She saw my room for the first time and started yelling at me, calling me racist, white trash for having a Confederate flag hanging on my wall. It's a British flag. FML

#21180829
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17385) - you deserved it (1982)

On 06/19/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by EmptyGlass (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

#21171119
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40132) - you deserved it (4274)

On 06/11/2014 at 4:36pm - misc - by ldrik1 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41389) - you deserved it (12488)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21213) - you deserved it (2855)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating is heavily into a mystical card game and spends all of his money going to "Magic" card conventions across the country. FML

#8153164
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10939) - you deserved it (23847)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:03am - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a friend of mine was talking about how he'd spent over 30 hours on Call of Duty. I piped up and said "Oh yeah! Well I've spent well over 300 hours on Morrowind! Beat that!" To which he replied, "I've had sex. Beat that!" I couldn't. FML

#4432884
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (62717)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Morrowindwhore (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75704) - you deserved it (6556)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
821 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31589) - you deserved it (296118)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)



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