About Aquila_Umbrae : I like to study people and know their stories. FML is a great place for that.
Aquila_Umbrae's FML badges
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Aquila_Umbrae's favorite FMLs
Today, I noticed a customer looking for expired products in hopes of receiving a coupon from my store. I told them to let me know if they found anything. They promptly began following me around, telling me how to do my job, only to later file a complaint saying that I was harassing them. FML
by itsdezzz / 03/09/2016 at 6:43pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML
by socknotes / 03/08/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Work
Today, an old man wanted to return a fryer. The box had blood smears all over it, so I told him no. He became irate and demanded a manager. Management said, "Hell no and don't touch that box." When I came back, he was licking a paper towel and attempting to wipe off the blood. FML
by leafynitemare / 03/08/2016 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Work
by trekkiewife / 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/14/2015 at 10:29am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML
by Angus / 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm / France / Kids
by mumfordandsonimdisappointed / 08/29/2015 at 1:09am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Arrkyna / 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm / Miscellaneous
Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML
by brbkillingmyself / 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by clutzirella / 08/07/2015 at 2:32am / United States (Florida) / Animals
by liishax3 / 11/22/2014 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Animals
by lexigan4 / 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm / Ghana (Greater Accra) / Animals
by mayoshampoo / 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Beeky / 08/22/2014 at 9:14am / United States (Montana) / Work
- Today, my 15 year old son told me that if school shooters were smart they would pull the fire alarm… Today, I realized no matter what I try, I can't stimulate my clitorus. I get more pleasure cleaning… Today, I applied for a disabled bus pass as I'm getting ankle surgery soon so will need to take the…