Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 11/15/2015 at 1:42am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Sacramento, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 May 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1341
  • Number of comments : 142
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About Aquila_Umbrae : I like to study people and know their stories. FML is a great place for that.

Aquila_Umbrae's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 8:00am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 7:38am<b>AHzulu</b> - the 11/09/2015 at 2:06am<b>Vkfan</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 6:41pm<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 12:48pm<b>tantanpanda</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 2:22pm<b>originalunicorn</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 10:59am<b>chinaski7628</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 4:47pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 11:55pm<b>hilamonster06</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 11:38pm<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 6:09pm<b>kyiomi</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:40pm<b>katachristic</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 2:07pm<b>Steffi3</b> - the 09/14/2015 at 1:21am<b>Zharroth</b> - the 09/07/2015 at 6:14am<b>explodedtaco</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 6:56pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:00pm<b>penguinazul</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:50am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 1:24pm<b>AHzulu</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 5:08am<b>AQueenOfDeath</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 12:09am<b>kyiomi</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:40am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 3:53am<b>Kristyanne</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 10:15am<b>Naatya_</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:41pm<b>nhbasskid13</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:07pm<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 9:59pm<b>kerbear1232</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:09am

Aquila_Umbrae's FML badges

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of Aquila_Umbrae's badges

Aquila_Umbrae's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband jokingly said to me, "I think you love Captain Kirk more than me." Without thinking, I said in a serious tone, "I think I do, too." FML


I agree, your life sucks (17399) - you deserved it (7339)

On 10/20/2015 at 3:45pm - love - by trekkiewife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML


I agree, your life sucks (24448) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34641) - you deserved it (2401)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML


I agree, your life sucks (12743) - you deserved it (18255)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (5362)

On 08/23/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by Arrkyna (man) -

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22976) - you deserved it (2634)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, I fed my 4ft python a live rat for the first time. He now has a new friend he won't let me near. FML

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML


I agree, your life sucks (32133) - you deserved it (9294)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my little brother making a Devil's trap so he could capture the demon he thinks is possessing my hamster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34326) - you deserved it (3596)

On 10/29/2014 at 3:39pm - kids - by lexigan4 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34878) - you deserved it (19920)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, someone, and I still can't figure out who, switched my shampoo with mayonnaise. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40757) - you deserved it (3884)

On 09/01/2014 at 12:59pm - misc - by mayoshampoo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was excited to receive a rejection letter, because this was the first company to even acknowledge that I sent them a resume. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (3109)

On 08/22/2014 at 9:14am - work - by Beeky (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks found the engagement ring I tried to give to my ex. She started crying and said yes. FML

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47453) - you deserved it (10447) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss threw out the report I wrote for the board of directors. He said that if it were legal, he'd smash me in the balls with a brick for using Comic Sans. I had to do the whole thing again in another font with my coworkers snickering at me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (53568)

On 08/15/2014 at 5:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: