Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 07/06/2014 at 11:16pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 80
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About Aquaman911 : I love Cricket and Hockey, TV and Games. I live for food (literally) although at times I can be very picky. I hate cheese with a passion except when its melted (strange right?). I'm really against selfies for guys because it makes them look really narcissistic, girls on the other hand live for selfies (surprise surprise I hate that too). I'm young and single so don't hit on me cause I hate relationships. I'm a guy who isn't too old or too young, and I never vote no in FML moderation because you all have amazing lives worth sharing ;) shoot me a DM anytime.I don't really live in Perth but my best friend lives there so I wish I lived there with him (Well close).I also love using brackets (I'm often told on assignments and tasks that I really overuse it.) (Whatever) (I love it.) (Bye.)

Aquaman911's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:11am<b>Owltime22</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 10:08am<b>taylorbrown97</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 1:11am<b>DekutreeRipoff</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:27am<b>jdf2</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 2:18am<b>Will21</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 12:04pm<b>carl_CIOwhat</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 3:55pm<b>TwentyFourBeerz</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 10:52pm<b>Wump</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 10:21am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 10:51am<b>FMLMaximus</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 12:22am<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:22pm<b>Ghost_Kaulitz</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 7:53pm<b>Respect101</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 6:49pm<b>littlekellilee</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:36am<b>dgameseeker</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:58am<b>foreverhappy98</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 12:03am<b>taylor21398</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 10:57pm

Aquaman911's FML badges

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

See all of Aquaman911's badges

Aquaman911's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (3141)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (4306)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51220) - you deserved it (10107)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (7529)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46030) - you deserved it (4176)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43517) - you deserved it (3713)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML


I agree, your life sucks (48793) - you deserved it (5208)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48090) - you deserved it (13122)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54362) - you deserved it (4293)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43208) - you deserved it (5974)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37318) - you deserved it (19805)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: