Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Online | Search for a member
About Aquaman911 : I love Cricket and Hockey, TV and Games. I live for food (literally) although at times I can be very picky. I hate cheese with a passion except when its melted (strange right?). I'm really against selfies for guys because it makes them look really narcissistic, girls on the other hand live for selfies (surprise surprise I hate that too). I'm young and single so don't hit on me cause I hate relationships. I'm a guy who isn't too old or too young, and I never vote no in FML moderation because you all have amazing lives worth sharing ;) shoot me a DM anytime.I don't really live in Perth but my best friend lives there so I wish I lived there with him (Well close).I also love using brackets (I'm often told on assignments and tasks that I really overuse it.) (Whatever) (I love it.) (Bye.)
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML
Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML
Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML
Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
Monday 1 September 2014