Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Aquaman911

Online | Search for a member

Aquaman911

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 298
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 27 posted

About Aquaman911 : I love Cricket and Hockey, TV and Games. I live for food (literally) although at times I can be very picky. I hate cheese with a passion except when its melted (strange right?). I'm really against selfies for guys because it makes them look really narcissistic, girls on the other hand live for selfies (surprise surprise I hate that too). I'm young and single so don't hit on me cause I hate relationships. I'm a guy who isn't too old or too young, and I never vote no in FML moderation because you all have amazing lives worth sharing ;) shoot me a DM anytime.I don't really live in Perth but my best friend lives there so I wish I lived there with him (Well close).I also love using brackets (I'm often told on assignments and tasks that I really overuse it.) (Whatever) (I love it.) (Bye.)

Aquaman911's page activity

Visits<b>Lily_Rain77</b> - yesterday at 12:29pm<b>cherrio27</b> - yesterday at 7:12am<b>Borunda94</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 1:46pm<b>brokenjawskhan</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 11:25am<b>Jazoo1</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 8:19am<b>blueshiftx</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:08pm<b>akenaton</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 8:19am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 3:31pm<b>kittyninja19</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 8:52pm<b>wondercat40</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 5:55pm<b>SarcaSAM</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:09pm<b>YepThatsMeee</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:25pm<b>TheBadAndGnarly</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:08pm<b>primocell</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 9:27am<b>evelyn456</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:11am<b>Remehdy</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:57am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 2:31am<b>Paris25</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 12:57am

Aquaman911's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of Aquaman911's badges

Aquaman911's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34001) - you deserved it (5496)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (17840)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

#21271187
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (3431)

On 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (3475)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (6250)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232) - you deserved it (2667)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34223) - you deserved it (6957)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (328) - you deserved it (7844)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33073) - you deserved it (2506)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37205) - you deserved it (8337)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter came home in tears, completely distraught. It took half an hour to convince her to tell me what was wrong. What horrific thing happened to her? One of her friends wore the same outfit as her to the movies, and apparently that's a betrayal of their friendship. FML

#21258796
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35355) - you deserved it (3331)

On 09/15/2014 at 1:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36664) - you deserved it (3198)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43134) - you deserved it (2710)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

#21251454
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31250) - you deserved it (2659)

On 09/03/2014 at 9:24pm - kids - by adeeri - United States (Wyoming)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: