Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Online | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 157
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Aquaman911 : I love Cricket and Hockey, TV and Games. I live for food (literally) although at times I can be very picky. I hate cheese with a passion except when its melted (strange right?). I'm really against selfies for guys because it makes them look really narcissistic, girls on the other hand live for selfies (surprise surprise I hate that too). I'm young and single so don't hit on me cause I hate relationships. I'm a guy who isn't too old or too young, and I never vote no in FML moderation because you all have amazing lives worth sharing ;) shoot me a DM anytime.I don't really live in Perth but my best friend lives there so I wish I lived there with him (Well close).I also love using brackets (I'm often told on assignments and tasks that I really overuse it.) (Whatever) (I love it.) (Bye.)

Aquaman911's page activity

Visits<b>ewhy</b> - 10 hours ago<b>qwertsarecool122</b> - yesterday at 3:51pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:15am<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 7:24am<b>melons</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 4:27am<b>PaintEventer</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 1:20am<b>klenorris</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 2:10pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:30pm<b>CharismaGeek</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 1:05pm<b>darkflame1516</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 9:38pm<b>deffy</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 1:53pm<b>meckailee</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:57pm<b>Drag0nb0rn</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:13pm<b>vairyhagina</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:53am<b>greg84</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 11:45am<b>gshocker20</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 10:08am<b>Rozza17</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 7:18am<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 2:16am

Aquaman911's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of Aquaman911's badges

Aquaman911's favorite FMLs

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML


I agree, your life sucks (16681) - you deserved it (29675)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML


I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (23384)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44283) - you deserved it (3455)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up to my young niece hammering a metal cookie cutter into my leg. I'll have a teddy bear shaped scar for the rest of my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49625) - you deserved it (4655)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:40am - kids - by umerin - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55003) - you deserved it (11309)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, being the class nerd hasn't stopped me from being naive: none of my so-called friends has talked to me since the last day of exams. FML

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43092) - you deserved it (7861)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad finished installing our new home security system. One of the features lets him control any light in the house from his phone. He keeps trying to piss me off by turning my bedroom light on at random intervals. I don't know how to make it stop, and I can't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (4470)

On 07/02/2014 at 5:52pm - misc - by pissed off (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, as I was picking up my 5-year-old brother from school, he hugged a girl from his class to say goodbye. His classmate's mom and I looked at each other, thinking it was adorable, until my brother decided to dry hump the side of his classmate's thigh. FML

Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43871) - you deserved it (3990)

On 06/25/2014 at 1:10am - work - by Sam - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML


I agree, your life sucks (49264) - you deserved it (5486)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49006) - you deserved it (13668)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54874) - you deserved it (4318)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44113) - you deserved it (6505)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: