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Offline (the 08/11/2015 at 2:17am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2510
  • Number of comments : 82
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 30 posted

About Aquaman911 : I love Cricket and Hockey, TV and Games. I live for food (literally) although at times I can be very picky. I hate cheese with a passion except when its melted (strange right?). I'm really against selfies for guys because it makes them look really narcissistic, girls on the other hand live for selfies (surprise surprise I hate that too). I'm young and single so don't hit on me cause I hate relationships. I'm a guy who isn't too old or too young, and I never vote no in FML moderation because you all have amazing lives worth sharing ;) shoot me a DM anytime.I don't really live in Perth but my best friend lives there so I wish I lived there with him (Well close).I also love using brackets (I'm often told on assignments and tasks that I really overuse it.) (Whatever) (I love it.) (Bye.)

Aquaman911's page activity

Visits<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 10:52am<b>youdumbstick</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 4:15pm<b>IridianShadow</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:13pm<b>Leigghhh</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 5:31pm<b>Flamepelt</b> - the 03/17/2015 at 1:27am<b>juststephhere</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 10:23pm<b>cyna_g</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 10:39pm<b>yukichan9</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:00am<b>AnnaDeWitt</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:57pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 2:43pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:57pm<b>iPixiee</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 1:19pm<b>LiLMAMA0523</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 6:27pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:30pm<b>EKDH</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 11:42pm<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 11:33pm<b>KushTreats</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 9:35pm<b>ollie179</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 9:45am

Fucked!<b>candiicane</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 6:55pm

Aquaman911's FML badges

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Aquaman911's favorite FMLs

Today, after telling my parents that I want to be a vegetarian, I got grounded. Apparently, "black people can't be vegetarians" and, I'm "crazy for even suggesting something like that." FML

by shawnsmuffins / 03/19/2015 at 10:23pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

by Y_Y / 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

by MIB thingy please... / 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

by yankeeboy123 / 01/12/2015 at 12:03am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I accidentally texted my mother instead of my drug dealer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

by Brasilian29 / 12/11/2014 at 7:01am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML

by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 11/02/2014 at 2:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

by MySonThePoet / 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

by highfive / 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2014 at 12:02pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Love

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy