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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband said that when we have sex he almost gets as excited as he does when he gets a chopper gunner on Black Ops. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26431) - you deserved it (5684)
On 12/21/2010 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Hannah - United States (Kansas)
Today, my parents finally invited my boyfriend over for dinner. Everything was going great until my mother asked him his profession. He stuffed his mouth full of lasagna, snorted, and then responded, "I clean shit for a living." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9911) - you deserved it (15098)
On 12/19/2010 at 2:46am - love - by lovecrisis247 - United States (Texas)
Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I sit next to wafting the smell of their vagina towards themselves and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31820) - you deserved it (2517)
On 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26726) - you deserved it (2985)
On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5931) - you deserved it (35362)
On 08/03/2010 at 6:40am - misc - by MyFaceHurts (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work, I was talking to a customer. She kept shaking her head "no" at everything I said. I asked what she was disagreeing with. She told me she has Parkinson's Disease, teared up, and asked to speak to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (4902)
On 07/28/2010 at 1:38pm - money - by RWW (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How is the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8327) - you deserved it (78970)
On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)
Today, when I took a nap on the couch, a spider crawled into my mouth. How do I know? My boyfriend filmed it and laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25555) - you deserved it (2373)
On 07/24/2010 at 3:59pm - animals - by Whateversz (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML
I agree, your life sucks (21461) - you deserved it (4814)
On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I was awoken by a conversation my mom was having with my dog upstairs. She was telling my dog that a ghost lives in our house. She was completely serious. The ghost even has a name and a backstory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13559) - you deserved it (1488)
On 03/11/2010 at 12:30am - animals - by stuckathome (man) - United States
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18904) - you deserved it (2564)
On 03/08/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by raidered - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (1293)
On 02/23/2010 at 1:57pm - love - by mrniceguy - United States
Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (3730)
On 02/23/2010 at 12:17am - work - by meaganlea (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19944) - you deserved it (1064)
On 02/22/2010 at 5:13am - misc - by OMFG (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was awakened, in the middle of the night, by the sound of crying coming from outside. There's a mile in between houses where I live. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19600) - you deserved it (1393)
On 02/22/2010 at 4:28am - misc - by holycow (man) - United States (California)
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