About AphyTheBronette : Reading FML's reminds me to appreciate my days more when they don't turn out like the stories on this site.
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AphyTheBronette's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML
by Notaplacetogo / 02/17/2013 at 1:45am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML
by methane overload / 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids
Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML
by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy
by Saradee / 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 5:40pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Animals
Today, my dad got a warning from our ISP for going well over their fair usage limit. I barely use our wifi, and I keep telling him he should password-protect our router to stop people leeching our Internet. He's blaming me anyway, and says I'm grounded until January. FML
by WPA2 OR DEATH / 12/07/2012 at 4:49pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
by Neutered / 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
by ekm86 / 11/26/2012 at 11:52am / United States (Oregon) / Kids
by Read The Fine Print / 11/24/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Transportation
by fuzz94 / 11/14/2012 at 4:06am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Heather / 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
by Me / 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm / United States / Transportation
by anon / 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel… Today, I woke up to my boyfriend throwing my birth control box at me and shouting that I was a slut… Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand…
- Today, I was cleaning the house only for my 2 year old to tell me he pooped. That would have been… Today, after spending five hours on the pond fishing, I put my final catch on the stringer that had… Today, my dad accused me of using various types of drugs, and that I will never achieve anything in…