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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I was enjoying a nice bath, when one of my cats jumped up on the rim and started purring. I thought it was sweet, until my other cat ran in and body-slammed the first into the tub with me. Being a conscientious cat owner, I hadn't de-clawed them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (4986)
On 11/27/2012 at 2:52pm - animals - by Neutered (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress my 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in my lap in a frilly dress, and as I was placing a very pink and lacy bow on his head, my mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now thinks I'm mentally unstable and should be in therapy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (25110)
On 11/26/2012 at 11:52am - kids - by ekm86 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (1209)
On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)
Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19099) - you deserved it (3858)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:06am - intimacy - by fuzz94 (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29126) - you deserved it (1718)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, while at a stop light, I was rear-ended by a car behind me. The guy got angry at me, because according to him, I should've known that his car has poor braking distance, and so I should've moved forward a few more feet to compensate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19589) - you deserved it (799)
On 11/10/2012 at 7:29pm - misc - by Me - United States
Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18220) - you deserved it (1142)
On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, I walked in on my son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16540) - you deserved it (1956)
On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9293) - you deserved it (15635)
On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)
Today, I decided to delete my Facebook account. My older sister repeatedly called me in tears asking why I'm cutting her out of my life. It seems I can't get rid of social media without my family taking offence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15000) - you deserved it (1417)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27142) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25583) - you deserved it (1536)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18295) - you deserved it (2450)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15521) - you deserved it (994)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:23pm - animals - by orilykid (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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