ApexReaper

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Offline (the 09/17/2015 at 7:48pm)

ApexReaper

0Fucked!

ApexReaper
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3182
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ApexReaper : I don't use the app too much anymore

ApexReaper's page activity

Visits<b>greenfishbait</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 2:13am<b>love_that_food</b> - the 03/16/2016 at 6:36pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 4:55pm<b>Avery1124</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 12:04am<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 6:11am<b>sevazilla</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 11:46am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 12/26/2014 at 6:33am<b>Lexasaurus7</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 3:53am<b>TheLonesomeGamer</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 6:51pm<b>Gowackie</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:00pm<b>JBirdeye</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 1:58pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 06/10/2014 at 1:44pm<b>JayOcean</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 2:11am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:18am<b>SigridAa</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 10:33am<b>HmmmmmmmNo</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 7:24am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 10:21am<b>RosybooXx</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 2:41am

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ApexReaper's favorite FMLs

Today, I was telling my aunt that I had achieved my blue belt in karate. Looking at my short hair, she says, "You're going to end up a lesbian." Thanks Aunt L. Love you too. FML

by colorguard13 / 04/01/2013 at 8:15pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML

by lingling / 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm / United States (Maryland) / Work

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

by CaptainSaveAHoe / 09/10/2012 at 8:42pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money

Today, I had to take my husband to the hospital. He and his friends got the bright idea of recording a re-enactment of a scene from Fight Club for a YouTube video. It ended as soon as my husband caught a fist to the gut and started violently puking all over our basement floor. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2012 at 4:38pm / Netherlands / Health

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

by unicorn / 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my roommate and I got into an argument. He told me he understood if I didn't forgive him "for a couple of days." He'd confessed to undressing my girlfriend in her sleep. FML

by James / 08/12/2011 at 3:54am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

by knickersdontfit / 01/26/2011 at 12:44pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

by LoveDrug / 02/17/2010 at 5:49am / Ireland / Love

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML

by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML

by CH / 12/07/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous