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Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (70504) - you deserved it (4160)
On 06/15/2009 at 10:13pm - misc - by Shaun (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I accidentally left my concession card in the photocopier. I then got fined for not having a concession card on the train. I was photocopying it for a letter to get out of a fine for not having a concession card. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10988) - you deserved it (33493)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:16am - money - by LordAdam (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML
I agree, your life sucks (115203) - you deserved it (6755)
On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39283) - you deserved it (6077)
On 06/09/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Woody - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19057) - you deserved it (68839)
On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75432) - you deserved it (35560)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (107297)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97854) - you deserved it (8097)
On 05/14/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Flicker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I realized what my mom has been calling me for 20 years. She always calls me her "little fehler." With her being from Germany, I always thought it was a cute little nickname. Apparently, she's been calling me her "little mistake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (79926) - you deserved it (3525)
On 05/11/2009 at 5:09am - misc - by mistake (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went to donate blood for the first time. When they stuck the needle in my arm, I had a panic attack and begged that they take it out. The woman helping me told me she'd take it out in a moment and left. It was then that the Red Cross stole a pint of my blood while I had a panic attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39846) - you deserved it (12438)
On 05/05/2009 at 8:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, I had a dentist appointment after class so I threw my electric toothbrush in my backpack so I could brush my teeth before. In the middle of class the toothbrush turns on and the vibrations could be heard throughout the classroom. They yelled at me "Jess has a vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38727) - you deserved it (7230)
On 04/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36344) - you deserved it (11267)
On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (100906)
On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (82644) - you deserved it (24507)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I repaired a boiler for a wealthy guy in a big house. While there, I fixed a leaking tap for free. When I went to go, the man slipped something into my shirt pocket and said "have a drink on me." When I got to my truck, I discovered that he'd given me a tea bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66200) - you deserved it (4903)
On 03/25/2009 at 12:33pm - misc - by toast - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)
Monday 17 June 2013
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