ApacheC424

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Offline (the 08/17/2016 at 1:23pm)

ApacheC424

5Fucked!

ApacheC424ApacheC424
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4618
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ApacheC424's page activity

Visits<b>kitteh86</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 10:56pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 09/06/2016 at 9:43pm<b>vintageart1994</b> - the 08/18/2016 at 5:59pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 9:00am<b>kileyblondie</b> - the 08/17/2016 at 7:32am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 3:24pm<b>missa8604</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:57am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 9:15am<b>theonecasey</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:06am<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 2:59am<b>Tripartita</b> - the 06/29/2016 at 12:41pm<b>PenguinsLaugh</b> - the 06/09/2016 at 4:34pm<b>Blizz18</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 11:11pm<b>vlalam</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 2:34pm<b>Kerensky</b> - the 05/25/2016 at 12:10am<b>ABlindMan</b> - the 03/25/2016 at 12:27am<b>why010</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 8:54pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 3:41am

Fucked!<b>kitteh86</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 4:56am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 12:26am<b>theonecasey</b> - the 07/17/2016 at 4:30am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 4:51pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:49pm

ApacheC424's FML badges

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ApacheC424's favorite FMLs

Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML

by notsoonenufdeparted / 10/02/2010 at 1:07am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

by BadLuckinLove / 07/07/2010 at 6:56am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

by imustbegay / 05/09/2010 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

by victoriassecret / 03/03/2010 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

by peterpan / 02/23/2010 at 7:54am / Germany (Hessen) / Health

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

by boner / 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

by chanclepants / 01/27/2010 at 8:35am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

by VeeDubDisaster / 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML

by Dani / 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Transportation