Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ApacheC424

Offline (one hour ago) | Search for a member

ApacheC424

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1731
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ApacheC424's page activity

Visits<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 8:55pm<b>kittina</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:12pm<b>YoshiEgg</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:08pm<b>BekiJ1</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 11:06am<b>agirlnamedLola</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:36am<b>Frechy</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 8:45am<b>AlaskanG</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 11:40pm<b>adamant84</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:47am<b>Erin2009</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:34am<b>spignona84</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:35pm<b>MarchMary</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:56pm<b>nerfballer</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:28pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:11pm

ApacheC424's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ApacheC424's badges

ApacheC424's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17349) - you deserved it (41208)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (14836)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (14836)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML

Today, I was buying condoms for my girlfriend and myself. While at the checkout counter, my guy friend sees me, runs to me, puts his arm around me, kisses me on the cheek, then yells "Thank you baby!" There were about twenty people behind me, they all gave me dirty looks. FML

#10433872
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36650) - you deserved it (9482)

On 05/09/2010 at 10:20am - intimacy - by imustbegay - United States

Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML

#8974087
383 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8759) - you deserved it (59947)

On 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML

#8793926
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (3464)

On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States

Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML

#8583652
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7341) - you deserved it (25489)

On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

#8455591
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18306) - you deserved it (5858)

On 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30817) - you deserved it (5516)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

#7609277
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42253) - you deserved it (11946)

On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30632) - you deserved it (4364)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML

#7386415
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11108) - you deserved it (24317)

On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I locked my keys in my car and called AAA. He got out to take a look at my car, and he locked himself out of his own car with his tools inside. It took us 40 minutes with a screwdriver and stick to unlock his car and 40 seconds to unlock mine after. 9 hours later, I found my extra key. FML

#7302143
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23556) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/12/2010 at 4:51pm - misc - by Dani (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML

#7225857
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18128) - you deserved it (5078)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: