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Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33326) - you deserved it (2852)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10135) - you deserved it (260333)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (1632)
On 08/28/2009 at 10:56am - misc - by wtfman101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14714) - you deserved it (34430)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I gathered both mine and my girlfriend's families secretly to a restaurant. I paid the restaurant to play romantic music, and paid for the best table available. As soon as we finished our meal, our families gathered around and I proposed. She laughed and said no way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82010) - you deserved it (6021)
On 08/09/2009 at 9:48am - love - by gtrs750 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13484) - you deserved it (58276)
On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (71408)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44994) - you deserved it (1855)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (12937)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (41635)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8834) - you deserved it (42792)
On 07/25/2009 at 2:32pm - misc - by rbates - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (78564)
On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44382) - you deserved it (3597)
On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38900) - you deserved it (8927)
On 06/29/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by merkris (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, while walking in the mall, I had two people race past me in wheelchairs. Thinking they were racing, I started rooting for the one guy that was ahead. Turns out his wheelchair was malfunctioning and the other was chasing after to help. He then slammed and fell into the water fountain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34358) - you deserved it (12116)
On 06/20/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by meantowheels (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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