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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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Today, my parents were having a Christmas party. They went out to get the vodka in our garage fridge, only to find most of it was frozen. Knowing vodka doesn't freeze, they soon realized that I had been taking some and refilling it with water over the past two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3895) - you deserved it (33710)
On 12/24/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by Sean (man) - United States
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20556) - you deserved it (5202)
On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was at Target buying four coloring books. As I was in line, the woman behind me said that buying coloring books was a good idea to keep my kids occupied. I smiled and said that it would give me a few minutes to relax. I am a 26 year old guy with no kids. The coloring books were for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11292) - you deserved it (25008)
On 12/08/2009 at 1:06pm - kids - by 2old4thiscrap (man) - United States (New York)
Today, after having paid to download an iPhone FML app, I found out that the real 'Fmylife Official' app was a lot more complete. And free. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7592) - you deserved it (33377)
On 12/02/2009 at 12:58pm - misc - by Fmyapp (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my mom came home and told me she was going back to college. She's going to the community college that a lot of the graduates from my school go to. She has biology with my ex. They're lab partners and have to do take home labs together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (1645)
On 11/27/2009 at 11:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I wore my cool new shirt with an oriental character on it to class. The Chinese TA burst into laughter and told me the shirt read, "I am a sad, pathetic person." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8260) - you deserved it (28004)
On 11/14/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Molly (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went through with my elaborate plans to propose to my girlfriend with creativity. I took her skydiving and proposed in midair. She rejected. Why? She wanted a more "traditional" proposal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (5787)
On 11/13/2009 at 2:14am - love - by rejectedmidair (man) - United States (California)
Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML
I agree, your life sucks (28587) - you deserved it (3917)
On 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9338) - you deserved it (38857)
On 10/12/2009 at 1:36am - animals - by bubbles (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (11623)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I found out that the student tutor my son advised me to hire was my son's girlfriend. I have been paying her $20 an hour for the last 3 weeks to make out with my son in his room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24382) - you deserved it (11623)
On 10/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11421) - you deserved it (31141)
On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33249) - you deserved it (2850)
On 09/02/2009 at 4:07pm - work - by iceman123432 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10014) - you deserved it (254310)
On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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