Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ApacheC424

Search for a member

ApacheC424

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1146
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ApacheC424's page activity

Visits<b>Erin2009</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:34am<b>spignona84</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:35pm<b>MarchMary</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:56pm<b>nerfballer</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:28pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:11pm<b>lilasmith</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:37am<b>NickPowers55</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 9:14pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>SeizeTheCheese</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:20am<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:35am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:50pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:03pm<b>username69taken</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:31am

ApacheC424's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ApacheC424's badges

ApacheC424's favorite FMLs

Today, I received a phone call from my old boss asking me why I wasn't at work, to which I responded, "Because you fired me yesterday". He didn't say anything, and hung up. FML

#16480266
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36550) - you deserved it (2971)

On 06/03/2011 at 5:57am - work - by xmeatballx21 - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59976) - you deserved it (12560)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

#14847630
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46916) - you deserved it (3695)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48635) - you deserved it (8385)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8542) - you deserved it (37407)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (7673)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (10628)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (17085)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14096) - you deserved it (49850)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12487) - you deserved it (27259)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (17342)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

#13610871
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5948) - you deserved it (36173)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (3510)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: