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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I missed my history exam because they'd changed the day. Apparently they sent out an email to let everyone know. Too bad I'd banned myself from the internet in order to study for the exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (6656)
On 10/04/2010 at 7:22am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I married the woman I love. I wasn't the groom, I was the minister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53997) - you deserved it (4541)
On 10/02/2010 at 4:07am - love - by Pr unlucky - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34204) - you deserved it (3343)
On 10/02/2010 at 1:07am - kids - by notsoonenufdeparted - United States (California)
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13908) - you deserved it (30565)
On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (11292)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (11292)
On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (11992)
On 07/07/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by BadLuckinLove (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22730) - you deserved it (2454)
On 03/03/2010 at 4:24am - intimacy - by victoriassecret - United States
Today, I was making schnitzel at our kitchen so I had to get rid of all the oil. So I decided it would be best to put the hot pan on our porch so the oil would cool down and then I could get rid of it. Unfortunately the ground is sealed with tar, so the tar melted and now the pan is stuck to the ground. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5472) - you deserved it (17719)
On 02/23/2010 at 7:54am - health - by peterpan (man) - Germany (Hessen)
Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24927) - you deserved it (4356)
On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33968) - you deserved it (9029)
On 01/27/2010 at 8:35am - intimacy - by chanclepants - Sent from mobile version
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23060) - you deserved it (3235)
On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I went to start my just bought '79 VW bus. I put my key in but stopped due to the strong gasoline smell. I went to check. Found puddle of gas. The previous owner figured duct taping a cracked tank was the same as fixing it. And didn't bother to share that tidbit with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8984) - you deserved it (20158)
On 01/16/2010 at 9:35pm - misc - by VeeDubDisaster (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on in his room. In a sexy voice, I asked him, "What are you thinking right now?" He replied, "I'm thinkin' Arby's." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12760) - you deserved it (3760)
On 01/08/2010 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I crossed a one-way street after looking for oncoming traffic only to be hit by a car driving in reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26217) - you deserved it (3796)
On 12/27/2009 at 3:48pm - misc - by Davios - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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