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ApacheC424

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ApacheC424
  • Town/Country : Brampton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 940
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ApacheC424's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ApacheC424's badges

ApacheC424's favorite FMLs

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (8128)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

#14397840
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7077) - you deserved it (32602)

On 12/30/2010 at 4:37pm - health - by infected - Denmark

Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML

#14169295
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26068) - you deserved it (7204)

On 12/11/2010 at 7:06pm - work - by stifledbyyou (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML

#13961788
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (9992)

On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML

#13881563
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (16133)

On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML

#13871078
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you deserved it (46753)

On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -

Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML

#13855888
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11285) - you deserved it (25601)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML

#13787466
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43595) - you deserved it (16157)

On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML

#13610871
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5373) - you deserved it (34299)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML

#13466865
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2679)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:41am - work - by hannahj88 - Australia

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22870) - you deserved it (2621)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

#13374528
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21610) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (13768)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML

#13339943
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30310) - you deserved it (2971)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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