This member hasn't filled in their description.
ApacheC424's FML badges
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
ApacheC424's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/25/2012 at 6:54am / United States (California) / Kids
by jessica071509 / 04/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
by 352 / 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm / United States / Health
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
by bummed / 04/15/2012 at 3:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love
by 1.30am / 02/10/2012 at 4:59am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
by Jean / 12/22/2011 at 3:09am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Love
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML
by adieuvelib / 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I needed to pay off a $35 parking ticket. To try and get some sort of revenge, I went to the bank and got 3,500 pennies, dumped them into a bucket, and refused to pay with anything besides the pennies. They called the police. I was arrested and cited $147. FML
by Not_you17 / 09/09/2011 at 12:04am / United States (Georgia) / Money
- Today, my boyfriend's neighbor has become my boyfriend's serious man crush. I realized this when it… Today, half of my class tried to convince me that computers are sentient. I pointed out Alan Turing… Today, I picked up the shirt that I had planned on wearing and found a stain that looked like a cum…