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Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he started shaking really hard. When I asked him what he was doing, he simply said "I want to be better than your vibrator!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25975) - you deserved it (9533)
On 11/24/2010 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Heyy - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my boyfriend to try and man up and act a bit tougher. He started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27271) - you deserved it (12946)
On 11/17/2010 at 9:32pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, a customer was rude to me, and I was rude back. He then asked for my manager, and I told him I was the store manager. He then identified himself as the corporate owner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11610) - you deserved it (43414)
On 11/16/2010 at 10:43pm - work - by T_Willl -
Today, my swim coach had me swim a 400 meter freestyle. Feeling a little sick near the end, I lifted my head to breathe, then burped, and threw up violently all in the pool. All my team mates screamed horrified running out of the pool, and now they have to drain it. I was told not to come back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21616) - you deserved it (2593)
On 11/15/2010 at 7:19pm - health - by grlzze444 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9546) - you deserved it (19215)
On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After about minutes of freaking out and explaining on how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was best thus far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40482) - you deserved it (13601)
On 11/10/2010 at 5:28am - health - by youreajoker (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I spent all day handing out flyers advertising my services as a psychic. I got only one call. The caller wanted to inform me that I had misspelt the word "psychic" on my flyer. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4287) - you deserved it (26012)
On 10/27/2010 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (2137)
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2587)
On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (3030)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:36am - misc - by sister_woes (woman) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (11245)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I had sex with my new boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he said: "I know women who would be really self-conscious about nipples like that. I love that you accept yourself." I had no clue there was anything odd about my nipples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26778) - you deserved it (2319)
On 10/06/2010 at 4:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, I was kicked out of class for having a coughing fit. Yesterday, I was kicked out of class for sleeping, a side effect of my cough suppressant. Three absents from this class and I automatically fail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23680) - you deserved it (2472)
On 10/05/2010 at 2:33pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I missed my own surprise party because, having heard it being planned, I though it was going to be an intervention. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5370) - you deserved it (33493)
On 10/05/2010 at 10:36am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7208) - you deserved it (39814)
On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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