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Consolation prize
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You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, I was woken up by my teenage son pulling down my shirt and taking pictures of my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27336) - you deserved it (2250)
On 10/20/2012 at 4:42am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23778) - you deserved it (5588)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (5077)
On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (3405)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (2819)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, I asked my best friend if he would do me the honour of becoming my son's godfather. He replied, "Um, that's just rude. You know I'm an atheist." Huh? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15901) - you deserved it (5634)
On 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (9456)
On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (2686)
On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)
Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14849) - you deserved it (3104)
On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States
Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (8755)
On 04/15/2012 at 3:03am - intimacy - by bummed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21463) - you deserved it (4323)
On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17759) - you deserved it (1646)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:59am - love - by 1.30am (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31729) - you deserved it (2465)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breath I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26481) - you deserved it (2973)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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