Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ApacheC424

Online | Search for a member

ApacheC424

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 10 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1295
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ApacheC424's page activity

Visits<b>Erin2009</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 11:52pm<b>inn0centaphid</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:14am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 05/30/2014 at 2:34am<b>spignona84</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 10:35pm<b>MarchMary</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 1:06pm<b>xAttackAttackx</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 11:06pm<b>PIGaming</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:39pm<b>Jessj958</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 6:56pm<b>nerfballer</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:28pm<b>yeatesj</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:11pm<b>lilasmith</b> - the 03/16/2014 at 1:37am<b>NickPowers55</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 9:14pm<b>whatsupitsbrian</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:18am<b>SeizeTheCheese</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 4:20am<b>KillSwitch96</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 12:35am<b>Ohthatsnasty</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 11:50pm<b>1tsmenoah</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 11:03pm<b>username69taken</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 3:31am

ApacheC424's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of ApacheC424's badges

ApacheC424's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the second anniversary of the day I met my girlfriend. I had to go to work, but I set an engagement ring and a letter on my pillow for when she woke up, and left breakfast for her on the counter. When I got home, she and all of her things were gone. FML

#20742451
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57837) - you deserved it (8573)

On 06/23/2013 at 10:42am - love - by foreveralone (man) - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47626) - you deserved it (3941)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

#20723435
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60190) - you deserved it (5418)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned if you type my full name in Google Images, the 3rd thing that comes up is a naked woman in ropes. Someone on Pornhub thought it was smart to comment that the girl looks just like me. She does. Now my parents think I'm a porn star, and most people at school stopped talking to me. FML

#20662282
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62975) - you deserved it (4889)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:15am - intimacy - by magomag (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was getting ready, when I heard my dad in the shower. He was singing along to the song "The Wheel in the Sky" by Journey. Except he'd changed the lyrics and was singing, "The dick on this guy needs a rubbin'." It turns out my mom was in the shower with him. FML

#20634724
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61659) - you deserved it (4980)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39587) - you deserved it (16923)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend confided in me that she wanted to try bondage. Since I trust her, I said sure. After I was tied to the bed, she tickled me until I pissed myself. FML

#20553692
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49011) - you deserved it (11619)

On 03/21/2013 at 1:54pm - intimacy - by ldn (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54711) - you deserved it (14386)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36415) - you deserved it (6670)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34488) - you deserved it (6686)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML

#20418295
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48491) - you deserved it (10113)

On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55414) - you deserved it (9855)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (45613)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35232) - you deserved it (7596)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36001) - you deserved it (5082)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: