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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Aoxac

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Aoxac
  • Town/Country : Ormand, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 October 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 103
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Aoxac's favorite FMLs

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (24634) - you deserved it (7762)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (11711) - you deserved it (20893)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (21377) - you deserved it (3017)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (12885) - you deserved it (862)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897 (327)

I agree, your life sucks (37028) - you deserved it (3398)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom was really mad at me and I was driving her to the grocery store. As she was coming out, I decided to be a good daughter and drive right up to the door so she doesn't have to walk to the car. I ran her over. FML

#4299527 (282)

I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (16975)

On 08/05/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by oops (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299 (335)

I agree, your life sucks (43844) - you deserved it (10567)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833 (233)

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (96567)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342 (993)

I agree, your life sucks (293157) - you deserved it (57593)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348 (417)

I agree, your life sucks (324463) - you deserved it (25644)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it he said "I don't know what you're talking about Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (753440) - you deserved it (63683)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (1007)

I agree, your life sucks (445714) - you deserved it (32673)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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