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Aoxac

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Aoxac
  • Town/Country : Ormand, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 October 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 147
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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Aoxac's favorite FMLs

Today, since I was taking a dump in my wife's parents' house, I lit a candle so that it wouldn't stink. While still sitting down, I went to blow it out and apparently, no matter how strong of a man you are, you will still scream like a little girl if hot wax falls on your penis. FML

#17981787
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26126) - you deserved it (8052)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:23am - intimacy - by cduran2011 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12722) - you deserved it (27006)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22528) - you deserved it (3155)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (1987)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, no matter how much I begged, my friend who'd locked himself away with my iPhone wouldn't stop taking pics of his penis and forwarding them to my boss. FML

#17438897
294 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39623) - you deserved it (3639)

On 08/11/2011 at 8:56am - intimacy - by bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (11145)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24377) - you deserved it (102923)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

#226342
700 comments

I agree, your life sucks (351991) - you deserved it (66455)

On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (387691) - you deserved it (29641)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (986801) - you deserved it (78467)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340
894 comments

I agree, your life sucks (525437) - you deserved it (37839)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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