I'm Arianna, but lots of people call me Annie. I have a whore for a mother, and a drunken idiot for a dad, retarded siblings, and insane friends. Thus, I have many FML stories to share.
Today, I was sleeping with my window open like I have for the past week. My doctor told me that if I did that, my asthma would be gone. It was, along with my laptop, TV, wallet, watch, and the food from my fridge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you totally deserved it (6609)
On 08/26/2009 at 11:52pm - health - by TTC - Sent from a mobile version
Today, after going to T-Mobile thinking my phone won't receive texts, I found out that my phone is perfectly fine, my friends just don't text me back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31199) - you totally deserved it (5062)
On 08/26/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by nofriends (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband and I decided to take a romantic trip to the beach. We got pulled over, and shortly thereafter he was arrested. Just so happens you can't miss child support payments for your twelve year old daughter without getting a warrant. He has a daughter? We've been married for 14 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you totally deserved it (1550)
On 08/26/2009 at 8:57pm - misc - by AreYouSerious (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10995) - you totally deserved it (21845)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my son hit my husband's shop-vac while pulling into the garage too fast. He was grounded for 3 days. Later, while trying to demonstrate how to park safely, I hit my husband in his happy sacks with the mirror. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4458) - you totally deserved it (21065)
On 08/23/2009 at 7:00pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I caught my dad squishing my stick-on bra cups in his hands, trying to figure out what they are. He's an engineer who graduated from MIT. I still don't think he knows what they are. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you totally deserved it (2122)
On 08/23/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Kegronauer (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my family bet me $20 to wear a Disney Princess hat for the entire day around a theme park. I am 17 years old. We decided to go for lunch in one of the restaurants. After we finished, a woman gave my parents a leaflet on how to cope with disabled children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21192) - you totally deserved it (5678)
On 08/21/2009 at 7:51pm - misc - by Becky (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)
Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35817) - you totally deserved it (1491)
On 08/21/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you totally deserved it (11794)
On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend at the mall, kissing another man. His partner got up and went to the bathroom, so I went up to my ex. I told him I didn't know he was gay, and he just smiled politely. Then his partner came out and I recognized him as my current boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48972) - you totally deserved it (4127)
On 08/20/2009 at 2:45pm - love - by Lil (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46756) - you totally deserved it (3528)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by demk (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10194) - you totally deserved it (43043)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you totally deserved it (39431)
On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38171) - you totally deserved it (6773)
On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41858) - you totally deserved it (6171)
On 08/16/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
