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About AnnChess : I'm me. So there.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26748) - you deserved it (7883)
On 09/06/2009 at 5:09pm - misc - by M.L. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35676) - you deserved it (3966)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38500) - you deserved it (3056)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked in on my parents doing it. Luckily they didn't see me so I slipped out. I looked outside, trying to take my mind of the horrors I had just witnessed, only to realize my dad's car wasn't in the driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57559) - you deserved it (1946)
On 09/05/2009 at 6:11pm - kids - by WTF (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45524) - you deserved it (3190)
On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a stressful day at work and decided to go in the jacuzzi. I hadn't used it for a year, so it was a little dirty. After I cleaned it, filled it up, and jumped in, I pressed the jets. Immediately, thousands of dead moths shot out at full speed towards me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44289) - you deserved it (9772)
On 08/30/2009 at 11:23am - misc - by mel (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26525) - you deserved it (28921)
On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35464) - you deserved it (6317)
On 08/30/2009 at 1:38am - intimacy - by pokie (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I woke up in my bunkbed because I thought I was experiencing my first earthquake ever. I jumped out of bed and found that it was just my roomate masturbating in the bottom bunk. It was 6am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35199) - you deserved it (2453)
On 08/29/2009 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Ned (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (52733) - you deserved it (12083)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, on the train on the way to my mother's house, I was playing Mariokart with my son. He got a 'bomb' item, and yelled quite loudly, "I have a bomb!". Panic ensued. We got thrown off the train at the next stop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38126) - you deserved it (4701)
On 08/28/2009 at 12:41am - kids - by mariokarter (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my five year old daughter told me that while I'm at work, daddy has his wrestling buddy Melinda over. She also said that they wrestle on the bed so that they won't get hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63849) - you deserved it (2277)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by abercrombieef (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47374) - you deserved it (14204)
On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I got home from work, and saw a note on the counter my roomate left saying "Sorry about the basement." I then went into the basement, and found that it was flooded. My TV, Xbox360, mini-fridge, and couch were all destroyed. Good thing he tried to stop the leak with scotch tape. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (1427)
On 08/27/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by buzzzzkill (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64509) - you deserved it (2297)
On 08/26/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by rammedbehind (woman) - United States (Maryland)
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