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Animal92

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Animal92

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  • Number of visits : 1419
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Animal92's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML

#8446049
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29590) - you deserved it (4639)

On 02/19/2010 at 3:36pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my little sister walked in on me and my boyfriend. I told her I would give her 10$ if she just pretended it never happened. She agreed, walked out and shut the door. Later, when my parents arrived, she yells: "Nicole and Joe were naked upstairs!" FML

#8430950
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21557) - you deserved it (18362)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - kids - by ohemgee23 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after recently having had surgery, I Iearnt that some extra tissue was needed to cover up the hole in the roof of my mouth. Where did they get this tissue? From a dead person. I now have the flesh of a dead person in my mouth, which by the way is now infected. FML

#8361510
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37490) - you deserved it (3210)

On 02/17/2010 at 12:07am - health - by Sophie - United States (Texas)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (5527)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was giving a class presentation, when I suddenly sneezed so hard I wet myself. FML

#7780958
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33202) - you deserved it (3619)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I slipped on my icy front porch, fell back and hit my head on the step. I tried to get up, but lost my balance and fell halfway into the bush next to the steps. I then looked up to see my very hot, British, Ex-Special Forces next door neighbor laughing so hard he dropped his snow shovel. FML

#7757731
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23396) - you deserved it (2872)

On 01/31/2010 at 9:12pm - misc - by youlyingjerk (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went out on my first date in 2 months. My sister and her friends were also at the same restaurant we went to. I decided to ignore them but they didn't. As a joke, they though it would be funny if her friend came up and said, "I had fun last night, we should do it again". My date left. FML

#7738687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31355) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/31/2010 at 8:35am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37739) - you deserved it (5235)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was working at IHOP serving a table full of drunk idiots. After an hour of taking care of them I went to clean up their mess to find the tip they had left me. On a napkin a girl had wrote "Here's your tip for the night: Don't play leap frog with unicorns." FML

Today, I found out that last summer while my girlfriend worked on a Disney Cruise ship, she cheated on me with Tarzan. FML

#7261053
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33865) - you deserved it (2652)

On 01/10/2010 at 4:47pm - misc - by daragnan (man) - United States

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

#7198357
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (2423)

On 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by Sanchez (man) - United States

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

#7189298
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63029) - you deserved it (3137)

On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

#7181113
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9370) - you deserved it (47376)

On 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm - kids - by pinky (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML

#7101732
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24628) - you deserved it (5157)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home from a new years party wearing a shower curtain and nothing else. FML

#7079223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6669) - you deserved it (36385)

On 01/01/2010 at 9:13am - misc - by NotANaturist (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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