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An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
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Angus1397's favorite FMLs
Today, the Chinese student I've been teaching English to got on stage in front of hundreds of people to read her final essay. She ended with, "What a fucking day." I don't swear, and I no longer have a job. FML
by effiestonem154 / 04/02/2013 at 5:14pm / United States / Work
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
by Anonymous / 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by 3hoursleftofwork / 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Animals
Today, my little brother came into my room and hit me over the head with his baseball bat. He then dropped the bat onto my floor and ran crying into my mother's room proclaiming I stole his bat and beat him with it for fun. FML
by NaomiMadison / 07/30/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/26/2009 at 10:31am / United States (Rhode Island) / Holidays
Today, my boyfriend and I took a late night drive, and after a while he stopped at a gas station and asked if I wanted anything I replied "guess". He came out and gave me a box of tampons. Apparently I've been bitchy. FML
by tamp / 06/22/2009 at 3:47am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML
by anon / 04/21/2009 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
by agnosticstudy / 01/14/2009 at 11:03am / United States (Alabama) / Love
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