I LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT PEOPLES STUPID MISTAKES
Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML
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On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, a 'salesman' came to my door wanting to tell me about the iPhone 3G. I told him I didn't need to know about it because I had just bought the white iPhone 3G for myself. He asked if he could see it. So I held it up, not giving it to him. He grabbed it, ran, saying "thanks for the iPhone, bitch!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42573) - you totally deserved it (23789)
On 05/27/2009 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I saw this tourist almost get hit by a cab. After he walked away I complained to my boyfriend about how idiotic people like him just deserve to die. After 5 blocks of my ranting the tourist turns around and says "I'm right in front of you bitch." I hid behind my laughing boyfriend. FML
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On 05/26/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by Ash (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11061) - you totally deserved it (27011)
On 05/25/2009 at 9:25pm - love - by Droolgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40381) - you totally deserved it (5475)
On 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm - misc - by partygirlxxx - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - misc - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was leaving work when some creeper start following me. When he asked me for my name, I immediately gave him a fake one. He just laughed and proceeded to say “I hope to see you soon.” He used my real name. First AND last. I was still wearing my name tag. FML
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On 05/23/2009 at 8:14am - work - by kandykrazed17 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200 picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you totally deserved it (1914)
On 05/23/2009 at 7:51am - misc - by MdT (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my mom and I went to the store. I asked her to go get me coconut smelling shampoo and tampons while I lingered by the magazines trying to talk to this cute guy. My mom comes around into our aisle and says "I smelled all the tampons and none smelled like coconut, so I just got you these" FML
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On 05/22/2009 at 12:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I screamed when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML
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On 05/22/2009 at 11:16am - misc - by Ouch (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was running outside. On the last mile I am along side some fields. While running along the side of the road I glanced down and saw a snake. I was so startled I jumped left in front of a car screaming like a girl. The snake was dead. FML
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On 05/22/2009 at 10:08am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
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On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I walked into Best Buy to buy a 42" widescreen TV I'd been saving up for many months. As I walked in, a man stopped me and handed me my wallet that I'd accidentally dropped. I thanked him. 5 minutes later at the checkout, I opened up my wallet to realize it was empty. He had stolen everything. FML
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On 05/11/2009 at 7:14pm - money - by omgfmlhard (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, I woke up really early before my mom so I could make pancakes for mother's day. I placed everything on a tray and even picked a flower, had a card for her and took it to her bedroom. She said "You shouldn't have, pancakes are fattening." She took one bite and fed the rest to the dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48308) - you totally deserved it (2009)
On 05/10/2009 at 8:36am - love - by Anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)
