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AngelOf_Darkness's FML badges
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AngelOf_Darkness's favorite FMLs
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
by Screamslikeagirl / 09/27/2016 at 3:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML
by orangediva / 09/18/2016 at 1:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, my younger brother complained yet again of soreness in his wrist. Frustrated with his constant whining, my mother turned to him and snapped, 'Well, what have you been using it for all this time then!?' The awkward silence of realisation for them both won't go away anytime soon. FML
by Torbey / 09/13/2016 at 11:49pm / Australia (South Australia) / Intimacy
Today, I had severe constipation. I went to get some more laxatives when I felt something fall onto the top of my head. I reached up to see what it was and it turned out to be quite a large spider. Guess who isn't constipated anymore. FML
by NotAGoodDay / 08/10/2016 at 2:57pm / United Kingdom (Suffolk) / Health
by nullpointer / 08/03/2016 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I clogged the toilet at my boyfriend's house. I couldn't fix it and was too ashamed to say anything. I can't handle confrontation, so I had to just sit there as my boyfriend's brother ended up getting blamed, then grounded for "lying" about it not being his fault. FML
by anonymous / 07/07/2016 at 11:24am / United States / Work
by Code_Skull / 06/30/2016 at 2:53am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Work
Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML
by ThirdWheelHell / 06/30/2016 at 2:07am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by insert pussy pun, hurr durr / 06/29/2016 at 1:34pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals
by Reek / 06/22/2016 at 10:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML
by GoAggies / 06/21/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Utah) / Geek
Today, I flew to Germany to meet up with a girl that I met in America 5 months ago and fell in love with. We've been talking every day for 5 months straight. I get here just for her to tell me that she likes me "like a brother". FML.
by Xerfox / 06/20/2016 at 4:34pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Love
by Pissed / 06/20/2016 at 3:27pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I recently gave birth to my daughter, and my husband and I both have dark hair and bushy eyebrows. We never thought it was a problem until our daughter was born with a dark, bushy unibrow. Now I'm too nervous to take pictures of her 'cause our family and friends laugh every time they see her. FML
by bushy brows / 01/04/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids