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AndyAutopsy

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AndyAutopsy
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1638
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About AndyAutopsy : I like chocolate milk :3

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AndyAutopsy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was discussing sex with my guy friends in their dorm when I asked one of them what he would do if I got naked and crawled into his bed. He replied, "Nothing. You're one of the guys now." They all agreed. FML

#113943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58792) - you deserved it (20294)

On 02/23/2009 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by NeverGonnaGetAny (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

#99885
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60181) - you deserved it (6165)

On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (213740) - you deserved it (73286)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I wore the belt that my stepfather has spent 2 months needle pointing, as a finishing touch he added my initials: 'fml'. FML

#43166
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31822) - you deserved it (4557)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by MLS (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that when I masturbate at night while watching internet porn I cast a huge shadow on the curtain and the entire street is able to see it. FML

#30273
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18275) - you deserved it (44492)

On 02/12/2009 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Evil_Egbert (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (110789)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my mum decided that me being bisexual meant that I was "deciding whether or not to be a lesbian" because supposedly, no man will have me. Thanks mum. FML

#15620
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (4545)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by lil_munchkinjen (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

#13635
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22308) - you deserved it (7673)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27002) - you deserved it (1932)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I had lunch with a couple of my friends and a guy I like. Another guy I have a crush on came and ate with us too. After lunch, one of the guys I have a crush on told me the other guy I like is sexy. FML

#1220
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13008) - you deserved it (2632)

On 01/15/2009 at 10:07am - love - by dexter - United States (California)

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (6969)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (6516)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

#527
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (1656)

On 12/16/2008 at 11:10pm - misc - by bloom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I need to go to the toilet. Thinking that everyone has left work, I decide that, since I AM a jedi, my penis ought to be my Light saber. All of a sudden I hear a familiar voice: “At least someone is having fun!” It was my boss. FML

#523
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5835) - you deserved it (20272)

On 12/15/2008 at 10:58pm - work - by lopez - Sent from mobile version



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