Andy714

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Offline (the 04/05/2014 at 10:28am)

Andy714

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1379
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Andy714 : Soccer is my life

Andy714's page activity

Visits<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 4:06pm<b>rastasteph</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:30am<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 3:35pm<b>kfc14</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 8:53pm<b>outthelabyrynth</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 4:31pm<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 11:43pm<b>Black_Knight80</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:26pm

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Andy714's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 12:08am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date and ate in the park. When I crossed my legs under the table, I scraped my knee and got a lot of splinters in it. When I got back home and started digging out the splinters, my dad furiously demanded to know why I'd been on my knees during the date. FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2014 at 9:36pm / United States (Idaho) / Health

Today, I complained to the train company online. I filled in information and added several photos as evidence. I only realised later that the photos I attached were nudes. FML

by anona / 07/08/2014 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

by justno / 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML

by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

by wrecked / 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2014 at 2:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

by wish his dad had worn one / 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my tits. He ignored it and instead sent a picture of his dog "looking blazed". FML

by Anonymous / 06/03/2014 at 5:46am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Intimacy

Today, I walked a student to an office on the other side of the school. I'm the kind of person who would rather make conversation than endure awkward silence, so I tried to talk to him. He just stared intently at my chest the whole time. FML

by Miss_Whipped / 06/02/2014 at 1:01pm / United States (Texas) / Work

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