AndrewG26

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Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 8:06pm)

AndrewG26

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 716
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AndrewG26's page activity

Visits<b>TheyCallMeMister</b> - the 09/18/2016 at 2:13pm<b>cheyeahh6</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:39pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:55pm<b>UncleTeemo</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:52am<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Yanez12</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:01pm<b>katie_rostetter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 12:44pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:36am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:49am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:17pm<b>edanielleh</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:27am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:31am<b>RoRixu</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:44pm<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 9:50pm<b>nikenico14</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>symfora</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:12am<b>IgnatiusBaseball</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:24am

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AndrewG26's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

by MissYouPieceOfSkin / 11/27/2013 at 3:44am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

by Wheredigowrong / 10/21/2013 at 12:18am / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

by down trodden / 09/05/2013 at 3:45am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

by marryinghimanyway / 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

by sweetnan / 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm / Chile (Region Metropolitana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

by noiguessitsbroken :( / 08/07/2013 at 8:24am / Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

by WTF, America? / 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm / Sweden / Health

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

by suckstosuck / 07/23/2013 at 12:04am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

by LonerCow / 01/20/2012 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous