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AndrewG26

Offline (the 08/28/2014 at 8:06pm) | Search for a member

AndrewG26

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  • Number of visits : 242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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AndrewG26's page activity

Visits<b>cheyeahh6</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 11:39pm<b>beaglegal</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:55pm<b>UncleTeemo</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 1:52am<b>onealmxwilson</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 2:36pm<b>Yanez12</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 12:55am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 1:01pm<b>katie_rostetter</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 12:44pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 7:36am<b>Kruitdamp</b> - the 11/25/2013 at 5:49am<b>TheCrispyCat</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:17pm<b>edanielleh</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 10:27am<b>olpally</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 8:31am<b>RoRixu</b> - the 09/17/2013 at 9:44pm<b>L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 9:50pm<b>nikenico14</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 6:37pm<b>symfora</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 11:12am<b>IgnatiusBaseball</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 10:24am<b>good_dank420</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 5:02am

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AndrewG26's favorite FMLs

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31016) - you deserved it (14716)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36715) - you deserved it (3258)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43630) - you deserved it (3271)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41774) - you deserved it (8770)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my son came home for the fifth time saying he didn't get the job, wondering what he did wrong. I looked at his resumé; under special skills was, "Keeping it real." Apparently he saw it in a movie and thought it would work. FML

#20928390
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40052) - you deserved it (4940)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:18am - kids - by Wheredigowrong - United States (Iowa)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39181) - you deserved it (2907)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47919) - you deserved it (2517)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38112) - you deserved it (7560)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

#20829995
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59240) - you deserved it (5419)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:02am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

#20825248
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (4359)

On 08/07/2013 at 8:24am - misc - by noiguessitsbroken :( (woman) - Lithuania (Kauno Apskritis)

Today, I was convinced by my friends to watch an episode of the American TV show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo". They said it was bad, but I didn't anticipate having a full-blown panic attack ten minutes into it. FML

#20819060
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40736) - you deserved it (8881)

On 08/03/2013 at 5:57pm - health - by WTF, America? (man) - Sweden

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56101) - you deserved it (11964)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got really bored so I posted on Facebook "Someone should kidnap me for the day." My mom commented, "The only things willing to kidnap you are aliens, and that would be because they'd mistaken you for a cow." 16 people liked her comment. FML

#18860865
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (10143)

On 01/20/2012 at 10:15am - misc - by LonerCow (woman) - United States



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