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Andr913

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Andr913
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 564
  • Number of comments : 140
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About Andr913 : I am going to read EVERY published FML ever...someday.

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Andr913's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23289) - you deserved it (6312)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got into a car accident. The other party left the scene immediately after without exchanging insurance information. Deer can be so rude. FML

#18267814
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24039) - you deserved it (7451)

On 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35049) - you deserved it (6529)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27740) - you deserved it (2605)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

#17071540
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16203) - you deserved it (14543)

On 07/11/2011 at 9:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said "It turns him on." FML

#16945006
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38566) - you deserved it (3563)

On 07/02/2011 at 2:44am - intimacy - by beardedlady - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I introduced my first serious boyfriend to my mother over dinner. He is Asian. My mom insisted on calling him "Ching Chong". His name is Kevin. FML

#16918734
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (4382)

On 06/30/2011 at 3:24am - misc - by asianlover (woman) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I was at the park with my daughter. She walked up to a boy at the swings, held her hand out, and said, "Hi I'm Vanessa, and someday you'll be working for me." FML

#16591956
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29470) - you deserved it (11635)

On 06/10/2011 at 5:57am - kids - by Rachel (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22113) - you deserved it (2535)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML

#15480042
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31087) - you deserved it (5825)

On 03/25/2011 at 8:22am - health - by FromNL (man) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34810) - you deserved it (30430)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46215) - you deserved it (3809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML

#11011756
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41525) - you deserved it (6326)

On 06/06/2010 at 2:31pm - kids - by Annakins (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16527) - you deserved it (1626)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)



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