Amystika

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Amystika

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 23524
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Amystika : my life sucks, obviously.
friends are my real family.
i am passionate about the things i love and believe in.

Amystika's page activity

Visits<b>Leafa</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 3:30am<b>Elgaard</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 5:28pm<b>Damafia</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 1:46pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 10/11/2013 at 9:54pm<b>ahd94</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 10:18am<b>Llamacactus</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 2:22pm<b>redzebra212</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 10:17pm<b>lawl_cats</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 12:47am<b>grv</b> - the 02/25/2010 at 8:55am<b>quinnteh</b> - the 02/25/2010 at 6:35am<b>MindstormsKid</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 11:51pm<b>presstik</b> - the 02/24/2010 at 9:58pm<b>mariokartwii</b> - the 07/27/2009 at 4:32pm<b>slayergirlkal</b> - the 05/02/2009 at 11:32am<b>Bapes</b> - the 04/26/2009 at 6:32pm<b>christineeeeee32</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 10:35pm<b>chubs</b> - the 04/25/2009 at 5:56pm<b>speltier</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 2:00pm

Amystika's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

Amystika's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She started panting harder and going, "AH, AH, AH..." and I thought she was about to come. Next thing I know, there's snot splattered all over my face and neck. Turns out it was a sneeze. FML

by snotface / 04/23/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to my 10 year old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face , "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

by helen_ / 04/23/2009 at 11:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

by 11321 / 04/22/2009 at 1:24am / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

by BerryRockstar / 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

by StevieMe / 04/08/2009 at 10:48am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was on my way to meet some friends for lunch. As I was parking, one of their cell phones accidentally called mine. As I walked to the restaurant, I listened in as some of my best friends discussed all the things they hate about me. FML

by Anonymous / 04/06/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was really windy and rainy causing me to trip and knock into a little kid. While still gathering myself, I apologized and patted the kid on its' head. Then I see people around me starting to laugh. I turn and look at the kid, and discover I've been interacting with a trash can. FML

by trashcanned / 04/06/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I had to give a speech on abstinence to a bunch of teenage boys, and surprisingly they were paying attention. After they left, I went to the bathroom and saw I had missed a few buttons on my blouse. The boys had a close up view of my cleavage for 3 hours. FML

by Anna / 04/06/2009 at 6:41am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

by starrybrooke / 04/06/2009 at 4:40am / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said "me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

by annonymous / 04/06/2009 at 4:35am / China (Beijing) / Intimacy

Today, on my flight to Vegas, I was wishing that a really cute guy would come sit in the seat next to mine. A few minutes later, a really cute guy sat in the seat next to me and even started to talk to me. When I said, "I like rugged men." he said "Oh ya, me too! I really like buff guys also." FML

by vela9002 / 04/06/2009 at 3:40am / United States (California) / Love