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AmyPond17's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
AmyPond17's favorite FMLs
Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML
by Anonymous / 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by burn / 08/01/2011 at 4:05pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
by wittlegirl / 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by crudofalife / 07/04/2011 at 5:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Evaki1 / 06/13/2011 at 10:24am / Greece (Attiki) / Kids
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches," your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
by MakeMeASandwich / 06/10/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Jake Whitte / 06/06/2011 at 9:50am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by OopsKid / 05/30/2011 at 2:14pm / France / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by 613tanner / 05/19/2011 at 1:30am / Transportation
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
- Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,…