AmericansAreDumb

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AmericansAreDumb

1Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 930
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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AmericansAreDumb's page activity

Visits<b>max367</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 5:43pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:13pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 5:43pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:29pm<b>MegatronSIKE</b> - the 02/04/2010 at 8:14am<b>lebrockshard</b> - the 11/05/2009 at 9:17pm<b>gonzolove</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 4:02pm<b>isabellarose</b> - the 09/21/2009 at 4:13pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 11:10pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 09/03/2009 at 9:39pm<b>Livi1</b> - the 08/21/2009 at 6:05pm<b>TheFifthWitness</b> - the 07/26/2009 at 6:03am<b>elseany</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 9:25pm<b>girandwogpig</b> - the 07/24/2009 at 4:29am<b>geesquared</b> - the 07/10/2009 at 12:46pm<b>poopsicle22</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 11:06pm<b>danielleFML</b> - the 07/08/2009 at 8:20pm

Fucked!<b>max367</b> - the 12/18/2015 at 11:43pm

AmericansAreDumb's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

AmericansAreDumb's favorite FMLs

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML

by bobuhbeartoe / 08/24/2009 at 12:36am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML

by NotThatKind / 08/24/2009 at 12:28am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2009 at 12:01am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML

by screamo / 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love

Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML

by Mikey / 04/26/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

by vinniesuckmadack / 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML

by JohnFarrell / 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

by NoFightResponse / 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

by Kylene / 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML

by Kate / 04/23/2009 at 10:09am / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

by 11321 / 04/22/2009 at 1:24am / United States (Missouri) / Love