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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30590) - you deserved it (1496)
On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, while showering, I finished off the shampoo bottle. I decided to see if I could shoot it into the trash can over the shower curtain. When I heard the successful "thunk", I got so excited I slipped and cracked my head open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22934) - you deserved it (13510)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by bobuhbeartoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17712) - you deserved it (29403)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83027) - you deserved it (3339)
On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58860) - you deserved it (3783)
On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (72606) - you deserved it (10080)
On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my alarm went off at 6.30. I woke up disorientated, as usual. I looked up and saw a dark, mysterious figure entering my room. Still half asleep, I screamed and dived under my covers. The dark, mysterious figure was my mom. I'm a 21 year old guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15063) - you deserved it (32462)
On 05/02/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by screamo (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56222) - you deserved it (22803)
On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, the fire department chief stopped me as I was walking home from school and asked me where the fire was. When I looked at him blankly, he said I had been waving my hands around like an idiot. I then had to explain that I had been dancing to a song on my ipod. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (34933)
On 04/28/2009 at 11:07pm - misc - by Moe (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was hanging out at my school with some friends when my mom came to pick me up. A girl I knew wanted a hug before I left. I turned around to hug her and a clip on my backpack got stuck on her tank top. I tuned away the clip pulled the shirt ripping it and exposing her naked chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55282) - you deserved it (6109)
On 04/26/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Mikey (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36152) - you deserved it (27513)
On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at the gym when I saw one of my friends at the water fountain. I went over and gave him a man ass slap while he was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now have a black eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9881) - you deserved it (46239)
On 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm - health - by JohnFarrell (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (4750)
On 04/23/2009 at 11:53pm - misc - by NoFightResponse (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14236) - you deserved it (43298)
On 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm - work - by Kylene (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was waiting for the train. It arrived, I got on and the woman behind me stepped on the back of my shoe. My shoe came flying off and landed in the gutter between the train and the platform. The doors closed, the train pulled away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (2382)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Kate (woman) - United States (New York)
Friday 24 May 2013
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