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AmeliaSH

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AmeliaSH
  • Town/Country : MN, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1013
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About AmeliaSH : Bios are for snobs #hoodiemob

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AmeliaSH's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63720) - you deserved it (4610)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (91883)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

#3437609
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36127) - you deserved it (11596)

On 07/02/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by ChocoMilkManG (man) - United States

Today, I met with a friend who had gained some weight since I saw him last. After a friendly hug, I put my hand on his new man boob and, without thinking, left it there way too long. I realized that I was groping him and, in a panic, did the only thing I could think of. I patted it. Twice. FML

#3373378
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14125) - you deserved it (47124)

On 06/30/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was so excited to play the video game I just bought, I decided to read the manual in the game. I went over the seizure warning and thought to myself, who the hell gets a seizure from playing a video game? Apparently I do. FML

#2867945
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (7682)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:47pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party. The music changed to a slow dance. Everybody grabbed a partner and I was left on the dancefloor alone. Suddenly, this guy walks up to me. I swore that he was going to ask me to dance. He then says: "Could you hold me my drink?" and goes to dance with another girl. FML

#2704619
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46224) - you deserved it (3180)

On 06/07/2009 at 9:36pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64383) - you deserved it (2688)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

#2492711
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61533) - you deserved it (4471)

On 06/01/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML

#2447996
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51650) - you deserved it (2403)

On 05/30/2009 at 10:37pm - love - by anoymus (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She told me that her father didn't approve of me and forced her out of the relationship. Her father died 2 years ago. FML

#2273679
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61851) - you deserved it (3196)

On 05/25/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by nadette (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

#2040967
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42999) - you deserved it (7060)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:48am - health - by barbie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 3-year-old said, "Mommy, I can share my teddy grahams with you." I said, "Thanks, honey, you're so sweet." And I ate a few. When I popped the last one in my mouth, I said, "Oh no, all gone!" She said, "That's okay, I have more." Then pulled the next handful out of her underwear. FML

#1918683
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55580) - you deserved it (6604)

On 05/13/2009 at 9:45pm - kids - by chelserusera (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Dad took me to a yankee game at the new Yankees stadium. During the 5th inning the camera crew put a man on the big screen. I then yelled out "Look at that ugly asshole!" It was the guy sitting 4 seats to the left of me. FML

#1830985
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7121) - you deserved it (86195)

On 05/10/2009 at 10:07pm - misc - by XxespoxX (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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