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AmeliaSH's favorite FMLs
Today, my fiancé told me that he was having second thoughts on our engagement. Instead of just calling it off, he took me to a fancy restaurant and took a public poll on whether we should get married. The majority said no. FML
by exfiancee / 08/05/2012 at 9:20am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/26/2012 at 6:42am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by ouch / 06/14/2012 at 7:26am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
by eww / 06/13/2012 at 2:13am / Austria (Wien) / Miscellaneous
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so lonely that I had a conversation with myself on my way home. It was only when I reached my apartment complex that I discovered that my neighbour had been walking behind me, laughing to himself the whole way. FML
by unfortunate / 04/25/2012 at 12:50am / Sweden / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
Today, during my first day as a doctor’s intern, I attended a consultation. The embarrassed patient asked me to leave. Not really knowing my way around, I went through the first door I could find. By the time I realized it was a closet, I didn’t dare come back out. Twenty minutes is a long time to wait. FML
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by sorrygrandma / 01/31/2012 at 10:34pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
by sillvy / 01/13/2012 at 4:32am / United States / Love
by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals
by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by embarrassed / 11/11/2011 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- Today, I was feeling in the mood, so I walked into the kitchen with only my boxers on and asked my… Today, I tried to wake my boyfriend up to sex. When I went to touch his penis, he elbowed me in the… Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years…