About Amanyyyyyy : Ask me anything you wanna know until I put up something useful here.
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Amanyyyyyy's favorite FMLs
Today, my mum staggered home, piss drunk. When I tried to walk her to her room, she shoved me away and cursed at me for being a "goody two-shoes". She then slurred "I fucked your mum", and informed me that my mum is a skank. That's good to know, mum. FML
by mummer11 / 11/15/2013 at 12:49pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that when you flush an animal clear of blood for research, there is a nerve inside the heart, which when you strike it right, electrical signals cause the animal to writhe as if alive. Now, my boss knows about my fear of zombies, and I'm now terrified of half my job. FML
by kittkatt1 / 11/10/2013 at 8:52pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by cricketsins / 11/07/2013 at 10:33pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous
by Something I said? / 11/05/2013 at 10:26am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML
by regretsteachinghighschool / 11/05/2013 at 8:22am / United States (Minnesota) / Work
Today, I finally worked up enough courage to ask out the guy I've had a crush on for months. I texted him, and he thought I was Maddy from work, not Maddie his neighbor. Now he and the Maddy from his work are dating. FML
by :/ / 11/04/2013 at 5:27pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by DisgustinglyFrustrated / 10/10/2013 at 11:40am / Argentina (Santa Fe) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/08/2013 at 5:16pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML
by littlekellilee / 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Animals
by Anonymous / 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love
by NotSoTypical / 09/29/2013 at 7:30pm / United States / Money
Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
by littledipper / 09/24/2013 at 11:51pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my mom bumped into a table with a glass vase on it. Seeing that the vase was about to fall, I lunged to catch it. Before I got there, the vase fell and shattered, resulting in me diving into the broken shards. FML
by Anonymous / 09/09/2013 at 1:44pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
- Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to… Today, I went hiking with my friend. We both had to pee really bad. We went to the edge of a cliff… Today, I walked in on my sister plucking her nipples. A shame I didn't get a big fuck-off bottle of…