Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Amajean

Search for a member

Amajean

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 20 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1530
  • Number of comments : 35
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 53 posted

About Amajean : OMG, nothing to really say here that's important.

Amajean's page activity

Visits<b>Cassro92</b> - the 03/25/2012 at 11:19pm

Amajean's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of Amajean's badges

Amajean's favorite FMLs

I went to buy some beer using mah fake ID,hen the cute cashier and I startd flirting. When he askd me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

#19979933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6329) - you deserved it (54078)

On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Yesterday, against my advice, my boyfriend decided to read Fifty Sades of Grey in an attempt to learn ow to please me in bed . Now all e does is suck on my toes, an tinks it's weird tat I don't spontaneously orgasm as if I'm some kind of nympomaniacal weirdo . mega FML

#19979806
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32400) - you deserved it (4781)

On 07/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

today we were going around the table, telling everyone wat we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful 4 her vibrator, cuz I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML

#18346597
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (8466)

On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)

Today, I Found A Condom On My Bd With A Note Written By My Girlfriend That Said, "Since U Startd Acting Like A Dick, U Might As Well Dress Like One." FML

#18345679
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12000) - you deserved it (56487)

On 11/25/2011 at 10:02am - intimacy - by Dickhead - Lebanon

Today, mah dad cummed to confiscate mah phone. I stuck it in between mah boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, yur breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML

#17935197
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (39690)

On 10/08/2011 at 1:03pm - misc - by G - United States (California)

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47524) - you deserved it (7322)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, sister askd me to explain where to put a tampon. I realizd near the end of the conversation that she believd the urine, feces, an blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forcd to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

#17933094
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29525) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/08/2011 at 2:48am - health - by ohgawd (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up after a few friends came over last night . There r eggs, coins and Oreos glud to the ceiling, 10 broken jars, no food left, and most of the contents of my house r in the garden . And I'm nakd and coverd in permanent marker drawings of Pokémon . My parents return in an hour . FML

#17899100
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12539) - you deserved it (50126)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:19pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, while at work being a waitress, this lady cummed in and requested to sit in the section I was waitressing. She held up a $100 bill and told me that if I was attentive to her needs, she would leave me a $100 tip. Excited, I waited on her hand and foot. She dined and dashed. FML

#17894679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42148) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/03/2011 at 9:05am - work - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)

Today I cummed back home to find that mah house had been robbed one week after mah neighbors. I was walking around mah neighborhood to see if anything was suspicious and discovered that mah neighbors had put up a sign reading: "Rob the neighbors THEY don't have a security system." mega FML

#17893570
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31986) - you deserved it (2966)

On 10/03/2011 at 2:08am - misc - by TheAnnoyedNeighbor - United States (New York)

Today, I walkd into a gas station to get a bag of chips. Upon moving towards the counter to pay, I noticd the cashier had what lookd lyk a golf ball stuffd in his cheek. I said to him in a joking manner, "That's a huge pinch of dip!" His reply, "It's mouth cancer." FML

#17877282
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14464) - you deserved it (46954)

On 10/01/2011 at 8:33am - misc - by lollipopgreen - United States (Texas)

today campus sacurity callad ma to lat ma know a lawnmowar crashad into my car. Apparantly tha guy mowing tha lawn lost control. My car wasn't parkad by any grass. I naad a naw bumpar. FML

#17855113
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24842) - you deserved it (1904)

On 09/28/2011 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is!! I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth!! FML

#17844542
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2270)

On 09/27/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

 Today , my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriendho I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! mega FML

#17793249
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42168) - you deserved it (2500)

On 09/21/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by AL - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

#17787359
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/20/2011 at 10:56am - work - by PC Jones (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: