Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 19 June 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1854
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About AlyssaDiannaa : Hi I'm Alyssa,I love walruses and taking pictures! I love to laugh,smile and make new friends! I do plenty of sports,competitive swimming,soccer,snowboarding,surfing and longboarding.
I work as a sales associate at Pacsun and Journeyz.

AlyssaDiannaa's page activity

Visits<b>Angel1999</b> - 23 hours ago<b>gmian</b> - yesterday at 11:58pm<b>hotheadslav</b> - yesterday at 8:06pm<b>LilyLi</b> - yesterday at 5:35pm<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - yesterday at 5:26pm<b>big_al69</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:11pm<b>mumblemore</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:12pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 11:23am<b>badkid91</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:18am<b>bobbymcjagger</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 10:17am<b>cakefete2</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:43am<b>wilbur4321</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 9:30am<b>Cads1</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:54am<b>Mons</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:05am<b>amine91</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:32am<b>SadLittleTurtle</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:25am<b>dcam13</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:46am<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 1:38am

Fucked!<b>Motocrosskid87</b> - yesterday at 11:26pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 8:33am<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 2:53am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 8:39pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:08am<b>Hrodrik</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Jayjaybrews</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 6:43pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 8:29am<b>MrFloooo</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 12:54am<b>melody309</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:11pm<b>KeithTheGreat</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 2:50am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 7:53pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:31pm<b>thatoneguy1111</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 6:35am<b>jmcgee17</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 2:41pm<b>nicfo</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 1:37pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 4:33am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 7:10am

AlyssaDiannaa's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of AlyssaDiannaa's badges

AlyssaDiannaa's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (8727)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML


I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (2276)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for public sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37446) - you deserved it (2763)

On 04/25/2015 at 4:05pm - love - by RBergman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to take my belt off as the buckle was hurting her leg. I didn't have a belt on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23385) - you deserved it (4266)

On 04/01/2015 at 3:40am - intimacy - by zetuga (man) - United Kingdom (Luton)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44622) - you deserved it (2959)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I told my mom I've been having sleep issues and asked if she could take me to the doctor. She decided I just need to read the Bible more. Needless to say, I still can't sleep. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27276) - you deserved it (2162)

On 03/19/2015 at 10:24am - health - by david99021 (man) - Turkey (Ankara)

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27968) - you deserved it (2567)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27834) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while working at McDonald's, a guy asked me to deep fry his salad. FML


Today, I received a phone call from the counselor at my son's preschool, requesting that I come pick him up. He was barking incessantly at his classmates. And when they asked him to stop, he growled. FML

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31688) - you deserved it (5771)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:13am - intimacy - by fruitoftheloom - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40) - you deserved it (93)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (55414)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (2840)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, my husband again lost his keys. It's a daily struggle to find them. This time they were in an ice cube, literally. He said he must have accidentally put them in there when making ice. He's going to be the father of my future children. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34306) - you deserved it (8233)

On 02/21/2015 at 10:47pm - misc - by wife - United States (California)

FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: