Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AlwaysWatching

Search for a member

AlwaysWatching

36Fucked!

AlwaysWatchingAlwaysWatching
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 23211
  • Number of comments : 169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 32 posted

About AlwaysWatching : Bushes do not appreciate it when you beat around them.

I love anime, video games, goats, and procrastinating.

I hate people with egos and people who date just to have a partner

Clarinetist 🎼

Don't play my game if you don't wanna bang

I'm sexually confused, joy to the world.

AlwaysWatching's page activity

Visits<b>fmlnjd2013</b> - 20 hours ago<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - 23 hours ago<b>maximus_prime</b> - 24 hours ago<b>boultzboi</b> - yesterday at 4:35pm<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:46pm<b>xReDMemory</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 11:23pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:11pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/24/2015 at 4:09am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 9:35pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 8:41pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 1:03pm<b>thischick113</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:13pm<b>aizai97</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:01am<b>WolfAvenge</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 3:21pm<b>ayyy_bro</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:21am<b>Scrambled</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 6:00pm<b>Rozza17</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 5:57pm

Fucked!<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - 17 hours ago<b>boultzboi</b> - 21 hours ago<b>fallenkilljoy</b> - yesterday at 9:46pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:03pm<b>Liamj774</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:21pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 7:40pm<b>daken96</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 8:06am<b>Dougie_Bee</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:10pm<b>kylie31</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 6:02am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 11:22am<b>munchly</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:25pm<b>rockyhorrorQT</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:03am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:49pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:27am<b>lukian</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 1:32am<b>kikoma</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 1:13pm<b>keyface5</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 4:31am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 4:29am

AlwaysWatching's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of AlwaysWatching's badges

AlwaysWatching's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to write my own notice for enforced redundancy because my boss just went on a two week vacation. He told me to just forge his signature and that, if I wouldn't do it, he'd just make something up to dismiss me on codes of conduct. FML

#21416507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10809) - you deserved it (748)

On 05/27/2015 at 5:18am - work - by Ouka - Germany

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, I was looking at old pictures with my mom and saw one of myself crying in kindergarten. I asked why I was crying. She said that was the day a boy kissed me on the cheek, and I thought I'd gotten pregnant. She then decided to give me the sex talk. FML

#21416031
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20107) - you deserved it (1999)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:40am - intimacy - by shitty shit - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML

#21416018
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18562) - you deserved it (1670)

On 05/26/2015 at 11:12am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

#21415763
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (1334)

On 05/25/2015 at 10:24pm - misc - by wrestling probs - United States

Today, I tried to work on my attitude at work. People say I'm mean, so I tried to be nice all day. Apparently I'm now condescending. FML

#21415518
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19250) - you deserved it (2770)

On 05/25/2015 at 1:42pm - work - by Frustrated - United States

Today, I saw my uncle, whom I have not seen in five years, at a family gathering. His reaction to seeing me? "Holy SHIT you have BOOBS! The guys must be all over you!" I awkwardly replied, "No..." Then he muttered, "I know I would." FML

Today, I got so used to using this FML app while going to the bathroom that when I opened it, I accidentally peed a little. FML

#21415171
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22679) - you deserved it (8936)

On 05/24/2015 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my relationship has hit a new low when I made an appointment with my girlfriend to have sex. I have a two week wait. FML

#21415031
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (3499)

On 05/24/2015 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by ugh - United States (Michigan)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (2468)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

#21414249
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24870) - you deserved it (2700)

On 05/22/2015 at 11:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25004) - you deserved it (3996)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML

#21414003
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28002) - you deserved it (1955)

On 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by homo fuckofftus (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: