About AlwaysWatching : Bushes do not appreciate it when you beat around them.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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AlwaysWatching's favorite FMLs
by Alex White / 05/02/2016 at 12:50pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I gave my boss a report I wrote on my own time, full of suggestions on how to increase productivity and profits at our company. He said my ideas made "about as much sense as pistol-whipping a ghost" and that I was impressing no-one. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 9:09pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was laying on the couch with a cast on my broken ankle. My brother thought it would be funny to shoot my cast with a high-powered pellet gun. It went straight through the cast and now I need to go back to the hospital. FML
by brandogg / 04/29/2016 at 8:11pm / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my birth father for the first time. The first thing he told me was that if I ever get arrested, I should give him a call so his guys on the inside can look after me. I don't think there's going to be a second meeting. FML
by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 7:22pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by sam.exe / 04/29/2016 at 3:26pm / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my doctor said I "might" have an enlarged heart and an irregular heartbeat. It "could" be seriously life-threatening and I "should" go to a specialist for further tests. My insurance refuses to cover my consultation with the specialist because the doctor's wording is too uncertain. FML
by DeathbyWording / 04/29/2016 at 1:05pm / United States (Alabama) / Health
by Stalked / 04/29/2016 at 4:49am / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Love
by DeepFriedLettuce / 04/28/2016 at 9:33pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by welcome to the neighborhood / 04/28/2016 at 7:35pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 04/28/2016 at 4:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by Gloomzz / 04/28/2016 at 9:54am / Latvia (Riga) / Money
Today, I went to the dentist; no one was in the waiting room so I danced around and mouthed songs that were on the radio. It wasn't till after I went to the counter and saw the receptionists laughing like a pack of hyenas that I realized there was a camera. FML
by shit / 04/28/2016 at 7:05am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by MrDanito / 04/28/2016 at 2:21am / Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj) / Intimacy
Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML
by Emmaraine189 / 04/27/2016 at 10:22pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals
Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML
by Gaylord / 04/27/2016 at 10:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love