Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

AlwaysWatching

Search for a member

AlwaysWatching

14Liked!

AlwaysWatchingAlwaysWatching
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 15980
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 29 posted

About AlwaysWatching : Bushes do not appreciate it when you beat around them.

I love anime, video games, goats, and procrastinating.

Band is life (aside from Shrek).

Yeah, I still don't know what else to put here....

AlwaysWatching's page activity

Visits<b>kaailin</b> - 19 hours ago<b>NoCraicAtAll</b> - 19 hours ago<b>bl865ood</b> - 22 hours ago<b>c9papabear</b> - 22 hours ago<b>matdun101</b> - yesterday at 6:05pm<b>hiiamahuskey</b> - yesterday at 5:44pm<b>cyborghinge</b> - yesterday at 4:46am<b>krisseyDJ</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 4:03pm<b>Pikathedoge</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 2:30pm<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 1:11pm<b>LovelessAlex</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 3:20pm<b>Dodge4x4Ram</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:31am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 6:49pm<b>Thatepicperson</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 3:49pm<b>xninix</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:03pm<b>lagreeni</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 9:06pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:40am<b>Axelo</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 8:55pm

Liked!<b>Mornai</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 4:41pm<b>Spentpoet</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:41am<b>poncho55</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 8:19pm<b>saocrates</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 4:56am<b>MyDadLeftMeInKFC</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 8:50pm<b>OhWhoCares</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 1:39am<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 5:31am<b>Lesser</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:28am<b>Exodiafinder687</b> - the 01/21/2015 at 11:19pm<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 10:50pm<b>dylanger16</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 7:26pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 6:08am<b>FML_Addiction</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 6:54pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 11:36pm

AlwaysWatching's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

See all of AlwaysWatching's badges

AlwaysWatching's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking the family's computer history, and found that "Shrek Porn" had been searched multiple times. FML

#21365639
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24183) - you deserved it (2503)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by mszoe - United States (California)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (2065)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24901) - you deserved it (2793)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (2502)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
154 comments

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

#21362728
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30980) - you deserved it (6674)

On 02/24/2015 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by Like mother like daughter (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
111 comments

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

#21362166
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (2721)

On 02/23/2015 at 10:46pm - intimacy - by sammy18f (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got laid off. I abandoned my friends, my boyfriend and moved 10 hours away for this job because my uncle convinced me to. My uncle is my employer. FML

#21361965
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29280) - you deserved it (4227)

On 02/23/2015 at 6:52pm - work - by now what - Canada

Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML

#21361518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (2883)

On 02/23/2015 at 2:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a man approached me and told me he wanted to drink my dirty bath water. FML

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
456 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42850) - you deserved it (4004)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, some popped-collar wearing shitbird tried to pick me up with the line, "You look like Marilyn Monroe's corpse! Wanna fuck?" FML

#21359908
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28972) - you deserved it (2315)

On 02/20/2015 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

#21359096
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28582) - you deserved it (3632)

On 02/19/2015 at 8:34am - misc - by Anonymous -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: