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Alvarortor

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Alvarortor

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 14 July 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3027
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About Alvarortor : I potato.

Alvarortor's page activity

Visits<b>AwkwardShoe</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 8:30am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 10:37pm<b>TheAtomicBomb</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 6:53pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 2:21pm<b>YourFace_2012</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 9:35am<b>WrockWreck</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:55pm<b>iMeowchu</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:53pm<b>SpiderInsomniac</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:38pm<b>thatoneguy_95</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:36pm<b>iOceanus</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:40pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:54am<b>nickdunbar</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 11:00am<b>BigJoeZD</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:02am<b>twentyeight28</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 9:13am<b>TomAto1</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 7:35am<b>akorpija</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 6:24am<b>sarahgabi</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:49am<b>OniiChiiChan</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 2:18am

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Alvarortor's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (27619)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (3422)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after a long silent and awkward pause after asking my girlfriend's dad if I can take her on holiday for Christmas, he looked me dead in the eyes and said "No, you may not impregnate my daughter." FML

#21243591
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38164) - you deserved it (4656)

On 08/23/2014 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Dafuq happen there - South Africa

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39138) - you deserved it (4623)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46874) - you deserved it (3193)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my parents accused me of being secretive. I have no idea what they're talking about; all I do is work, go to school, sleep, and eat. Now I'm grounded until I tell them what's going on. I have crazy parents, that's what's going on. FML

#21242846
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40492) - you deserved it (2496)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:09am - misc - by up to no-good... - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

#21242605
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41710) - you deserved it (4963)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41397) - you deserved it (15348)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (13607)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34673) - you deserved it (5580)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38817) - you deserved it (8052) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41587) - you deserved it (13482)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (7501)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while on a tour bus, our guide told us that "Jimi Hendrix was like, uh, the Miley Cyrus of the '60s." I'm actually a committed pacifist, but I was already halfway out of my seat to choke the pimply-faced twat out before I managed to restrain myself. Now I'm scared of myself. FML

#21237562
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35029) - you deserved it (4982)

On 08/14/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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