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Offline (the 09/26/2016 at 11:47pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 October 1963 (53 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About AlstottsNo1Fan : Retired military. Into bass guitar, tattoos, and heavy music.

AlstottsNo1Fan's page activity

Visits<b>rockninja</b> - the 03/26/2016 at 4:34pm<b>Glock2012</b> - the 12/31/2015 at 8:26am<b>demix</b> - the 10/18/2015 at 7:06pm<b>frozenlover218</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:20am<b>SeveralLake</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:39pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 1:51pm<b>The_Mr_Troll</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 4:33am<b>CeeCee</b> - the 05/18/2011 at 3:27pm<b>Warlemming</b> - the 05/18/2011 at 3:28am

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AlstottsNo1Fan's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of my grandfather's funeral and my cousin started cracking up. It caused a chain reaction of laughter throughout all of the other cousins and my siblings. Now my aunts won't speak to any of us. FML

by sillymink / 08/19/2016 at 10:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I farted so loud that my cat thought that I was growling at him, and bit me in self-defense. FML

by nullpointer / 08/03/2016 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my straight, white, Christian stepmother greeted my black friend with, "Hey my n****a". He hasn't talked to me since. FML

by why mom / 08/02/2016 at 7:52pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

by suspended / 07/31/2016 at 11:39am / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, a customer tried to return some pricey lingerie. She said she didn't have the packaging, but had never worn them. The skidmark I accidentally touched begged to differ. FML

by Anonymous / 07/16/2016 at 5:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Work

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

by WellThatSucks / 05/23/2016 at 5:15am / United States / Animals

Today, my coworker showed me photos of her anal fissures. I'm not a doctor. FML

by Workplace woes / 05/12/2016 at 1:00pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask a girl at my school for her number. As I was typing it into my phone, she pointed out the giant booger firmly attached to my sleeve. FML

by Joseflloyd / 05/12/2016 at 12:52am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

by Dramaqueenfornothing / 04/27/2016 at 6:32pm / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love

Today, I accidentally farted while on my flight home. It was silent but so deadly that several people were visibly distressed. The overweight guy sitting next to me got a bunch of dirty glares. I was too ashamed to own up to it. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 8:34am / Sri Lanka (Western) / Transportation